Short Funny Quotes - Page 7


Why do they put pizza in a square box?

Submitted by: win_ringette

If the world really ends in 2012, I wasted my whole life in school.

Submitted by: Candygirl

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Submitted by: Mr. Lova Lova

I’m single because I was born that way.
Mae West


I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

Funny Quote: I hate how Monday is so far...

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Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.


The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby

Submitted by: Laughable Dancer Girl

Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
– Phyllis Diller


Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness

One thing you are sure you will do for the rest of your life: Pull the door that says push.


I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Submitted by: Usama

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard

Some call it stalking I call it love.

Why do I end up liking the guy I can only think of.

I was uncool before being uncool was cool!

Get like you? naw Get like me.

I called your boyfriend g*y…and then he hit me with his purse.

When I said “I’d hit that” I meant with my car.

Go buy yourself a life on e- bay.

Few women admit their ages a few men act theirs.

Submitted by: Denisse

I’m the type of person that wants to get good grades but doesn’t want to study.


I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra


They say that love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug?
– Nishan Panwar


I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
Robert Orben


I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste.


Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?

Submitted by: sophia

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