Short Funny Quotes - Page 7

126

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Submitted by: Mr. Lova Lova
0

If there was an award for laziness I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up for me.

0

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben

0

Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
– Phyllis Diller

0

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby

Submitted by: Laughable Dancer Girl
0

I’m single because I was born that way.
Mae West

10

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness
10

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian
25

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy
1

One thing you are sure you will do for the rest of your life: Pull the door that says push.

21

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara
4

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.

19

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?
34

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko
267

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Submitted by: Usama
24

Some call it stalking I call it love.

Why do I end up liking the guy I can only think of.

I was uncool before being uncool was cool!

Get like you? naw Get like me.

I called your boyfriend g*y…and then he hit me with his purse.

When I said “I’d hit that” I meant with my car.

Go buy yourself a life on e- bay.

Few women admit their ages a few men act theirs.

Submitted by: Denisse
0

I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste.

0

I’m the type of person that wants to get good grades but doesn’t want to study.

0

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
Yogi Berra

0

They say that love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug?
– Nishan Panwar

0

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
Robert Orben

127

Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?

Submitted by: sophia
15

Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

10

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard
5

We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.

Funny Quote: We’re all mature until somebody brings out...

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