Short Funny Quotes - Page 7

10

I feel bad for a giraffe who has to throw up.

Submitted by: Christian
7

Whoever said words don’t hurt never got hit in the head with a dictionary.

Submitted by: MrCoolGuy
15

All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.

Funny Quote: All my life I thought air was...

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Submitted by: Jessy
10

If someone says: “No offense”, he/she is about to say something offensive.

Submitted by: lolness
13

Where’s my chips?

Funny Quote: Where’s my chips?

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Submitted by: Jessy
22

Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

12

If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

0

I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste.

2

One thing you are sure you will do for the rest of your life: Pull the door that says push.

21

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick!
Why is it that when something is delivered by truck, we call it a shipment, but when it’s delivered by ship we call it cargo?

Submitted by: sara
10

Who invented Mondays, I’d like to have a word with him.

Submitted by: Ezzard
19

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

Submitted by: princess 98 ?
267

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Submitted by: Usama
127

Why is is called a “building” when it’s already been built ?

Submitted by: sophia
0

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
Funny Quote: Giving up smoking is the easiest thing...

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0

If cats could write history, their history would be mostly about cats.
– Eugen Weber
Funny Quote: If cats could write history, their history...

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0

I’m the type of person that wants to get good grades but doesn’t want to study.

30

When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.

Submitted by: shubh
156

BEER IS NOW CHEAPER THAN GAS, SO DRINK DONT DRIVE!

Submitted by: FRANCISCO
24

Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Submitted by: the person whom you know not of...
21

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

38

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy
35

Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…

Submitted by: Rikko
37

The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.

Submitted by: Blayze
57

A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.

Submitted by: allison

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