Short Funny Quotes

I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?

Submitted by: Kristine

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Kacey

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

Submitted by: Adrian

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo

Video games ruined my life. At least I have 2 left.

Submitted by: itadakimasu

Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.

Submitted by: danz

When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)

Submitted by: Hallie (11 yers old)

Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P

Submitted by: stig

People want what they can’t have and when they get it they don’t want it anymore.

Practice makes perfect, but if no ones perfect, why practice?

Notice that you are noticing nothing worth noticing?

Submitted by: cassandra

Walking into a restaurant…
Waiter: Would you like a table?
Me: No, we came to sit on the ground… floor for five please.

Me when parents are sleeping: shh they’re asleep.
My parents when I’m asleep: Let’s vacuum for three hours.

I learned three things in school:
1. How to text without looking.
2. How to sleep with my eyes open.
3. And teamwork during tests.

Submitted by: Cassie

I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.

Submitted by: KazeGirl

If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.

Submitted by: Aniqa

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

THINK its not illegal yet

Submitted by: Aryie

Why is there no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger?

Submitted by: win_ringette

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