Short Funny Quotes - Page 8
Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.
- David O. McKay
A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.
- Jarod Kintz
If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain
My husband calls me ‘catfish.’ He says I’m all mouth and no brains.
- Dolly Parton
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Valentine’s Day Money- Saving Tip: Break Up on Feb 13th, Get back together on the 15th.
My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more.
- Matthau
If cats could write history, their history would be mostly about cats.
- Eugen Weber
There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore because it’s too crowded.
- Yogi Berra
I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
- Yogi Berra
90% of the game is half mental.
- Yogi Berra