Short Funny Quotes
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
Old age dosen’t make you forget.
Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember
Forget the dog! Beware of kids!
Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.
I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!
When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.
I scored high on my drug test.
I would agree with you if you were right
Some Are Called Brave Because They Afraid to Run…
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.
If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.
The future just ain’t what it used to be.
True skill comes without effort.
Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Dont face your problem if the problem is your FACE hehehe
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If “poli” means many, and “tics” mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does “politics” mean?
I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.
I didn’t hit you. I simply high- fived your face.
Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.