Short Funny Quotes

Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.

Submitted by: captain crunch

The hardest part about business is minding your own.

Submitted by: jay

Girl: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Boy: If you were my wife I’d drink it.

Submitted by: Carlos

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!

Submitted by: _FiLa96_

Everybody’s has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I’m just like “I love food”.

Submitted by: Pritty

I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?

Submitted by: Kristine

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright

Submitted by: Kacey

Video games ruined my life. At least I have 2 left.

Submitted by: itadakimasu
Advertisements

When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)

Submitted by: Hallie (11 yers old)

Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.

Submitted by: danz

People want what they can’t have and when they get it they don’t want it anymore.

Practice makes perfect, but if no ones perfect, why practice?

Notice that you are noticing nothing worth noticing?

Submitted by: cassandra

Anti-Pick Up Lines:

He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I’d rather have the money.

He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.

He: Go on. Don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.

He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?

He: Shall we go see a movie?
She: I have already seen it.

He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

He: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
She: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P

Submitted by: stig

Walking into a restaurant…
Waiter: Would you like a table?
Me: No, we came to sit on the ground… floor for five please.

Me when parents are sleeping: shh they’re asleep.
My parents when I’m asleep: Let’s vacuum for three hours.

I learned three things in school:
1. How to text without looking.
2. How to sleep with my eyes open.
3. And teamwork during tests.

Submitted by: Cassie

I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.

Submitted by: KazeGirl

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote