Short Funny Quotes - Page 8

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Anti-Pick Up Lines:

He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I’d rather have the money.

He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.

He: Go on. Don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.

He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?

He: Shall we go see a movie?
She: I have already seen it.

He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

He: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
She: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Funny Quote: Anti-Pick Up Lines: He: Can I buy...

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If love is blind then how did it find us???

Submitted by: UR MOMS NEW BOY FRIEND

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!

Submitted by: BestFriend

Why fight to live when we live to die???
YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p

Submitted by: YoungBlood

POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on

Submitted by: DeAnna _starfish

If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

Submitted by: Jilll

Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Sister: Really?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.

Submitted by: lisa

He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

Submitted by: crazy**** :)

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx

Funny Quote: I intend to live forever, or die...

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Submitted by: Wes

Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.

Funny Quote: Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.

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Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3

Submitted by: Xx.Cutie_Pie.xX

There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.

Submitted by: David Hudson

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, the opportunist.

Submitted by: Mark Cromo

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: therandomone

Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…

Submitted by: Alie Morino

I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Submitted by: .:kaeley:.

If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

Submitted by: IDK e IDC

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

Funny Quote: Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up...

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Your intelligence is my common sense.

Funny Quote: Your intelligence is my common sense.

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Submitted by: Swapnil

Iwonderifanyoneknowswhatthebigstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

Submitted by: levi

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