Short Funny Quotes
Life is a game with a small fault…there is no “restart button” in it.
Miss are you good in algebra?
Do you mind substituting my “x”??? :P
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
People want what they can’t have and when they get it they don’t want it anymore.
Practice makes perfect, but if no ones perfect, why practice?
Notice that you are noticing nothing worth noticing?
When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)
I’m not immature…i just know how to have fun.
Walking into a restaurant…
Waiter: Would you like a table?
Me: No, we came to sit on the ground… floor for five please.
Me when parents are sleeping: shh they’re asleep.
My parents when I’m asleep: Let’s vacuum for three hours.
I learned three things in school:
1. How to text without looking.
2. How to sleep with my eyes open.
3. And teamwork during tests.
THINK its not illegal yet
If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.
If I’m not back in 5 minutes… Wait longer..
Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?
Everybody makes mistakes.. The trick is making em when nobody is around..
When life hands you lemons… Make apple cider.. Then sit back and have everyone wondering how you did it.
QUICK!! What’s the number for 911!!!
People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
Why is there no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger?
L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
– George Carlin