Short Funny Quotes - Page 8

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THINK its not illegal yet

Submitted by: Aryie

Walking into a restaurant…
Waiter: Would you like a table?
Me: No, we came to sit on the ground… floor for five please.

Me when parents are sleeping: shh they’re asleep.
My parents when I’m asleep: Let’s vacuum for three hours.

I learned three things in school:
1. How to text without looking.
2. How to sleep with my eyes open.
3. And teamwork during tests.

Submitted by: Cassie

When I see someone that is beautiful, I stare for awhile, and when I get tired, I put down the mirror. 8)

Submitted by: Hallie (11 yers old)

People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!

Submitted by: Carla

If I’m not back in 5 minutes… Wait longer..
Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?
Everybody makes mistakes.. The trick is making em when nobody is around..
When life hands you lemons… Make apple cider.. Then sit back and have everyone wondering how you did it.

Submitted by: MiMi BaBiI

Why is there no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger?

Submitted by: win_ringette

QUICK!! What’s the number for 911!!!
]

Submitted by: Deanna

If you have something to say, please raise your hand and place it over your mouth.

Submitted by: Aniqa

L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to I have nothing else to say.
Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.
I’m afraid of my mailman……..he knows where I live!!

Submitted by: SUmmy

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: That’s why they call it the American...

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: Think of how stupid the average person...

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When cheese gets it’s picture taken what does it say?

Submitted by: win_ringette

If our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. What do Chinese people use? Tooth picks?

Submitted by: haylse

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

Submitted by: imo-gadget-303

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

Funny Quote: If at first you don’t succeed, then...

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Submitted by: Adrian
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