Short Funny Quotes - Page 8

8

When life gives you lemons, throw it away. I wouldn’t take a lemon from a bearded drunk guy with a shirt that says, “My name is life.” Would you?

Submitted by: The Awesome 1
5

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Submitted by: Lisa
4

I used to have a friend but the rope broke and he got away.

Submitted by: Lisa
3

An apple a day keeps a doctor away, my father is a doctor, so no apples for me.

Submitted by: muvuledzi
6

Funny how stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Submitted by: emma
7

The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live.

Submitted by: Mondli Mazibuko
8

Couldn’t remember your appointment then you find out it was with your memory doctor. Here’s your sign.

Submitted by: Barbara Hicks
5

I don’t have any exs I have whys? Yeah why in the hell did I date you!!!?

Submitted by: kylie
5

Life is a climb but the view is great, until you fall off!.

Submitted by: vashti
5

Cuddle a chemist and see the reaction.

Submitted by: Nitostosin
12

In life go straight and turn right. ! ;)

Submitted by: Sundas Zaheer
15

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Submitted by: sandra blackburn
3

Google: I have everything. !!
Facebook: I know everyone. !
Tweeter: I know what you guys think!!
Internet: Gosh!!!w/out me. !!you guys are nothing!!!
Funny Quote: Google: I have everything. !! Facebook: I...

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Submitted by: hearty diamond
26

A baby monkey asks his father thus; father, why are we so ugly?
The father says: don’t stress my son, you should see the one reading this text.

Submitted by: hadikson
3

They said the world is going to end this year…Pssh They can barely predict the weather.

6

When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!

4

Which weapon can be made from the combination of, potassium, nickel, iron?. First of all explanation; the chemical symbol of potassium is k, for nickel is ni, for iron is fe. So the weapon is knife.

Submitted by: maravilla adebayo
4

Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?

Submitted by: rainbowsandunicorns
9

If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?

Submitted by: Seth BACON Phillips
9

If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!

Submitted by: Buju Aka Israr
14

Age is just a number? Yeah and weed is just a plant!!!!!

Submitted by: mw is cool
6

If you notice this notice you will notice that this notice is a noticeable notice.

Submitted by: Alyssa
2

I am making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, your one of them.

Submitted by: kaylaa
7

If you need advice text me
If you need a friend call me
If you need me come 2 me
But if you need money :((
.
.
The subscribe can not be reached.

Submitted by: alexx143
7

Good boys and girls go to heaven, bad boys and girls go everywhere.

Submitted by: Ashes obinnah

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