Short Funny Quotes - Page 8
Anti-Pick Up Lines:
He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I’d rather have the money.
He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.
He: Go on. Don’t be shy. Ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.
He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?
He: Shall we go see a movie?
She: I have already seen it.
He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.
He: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
She: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
If love is blind then how did it find us???
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!
Why fight to live when we live to die???
YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p
POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…Police have nothing to go on
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?
Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.
He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
– Groucho Marx
Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
Your intelligence is my common sense.