Short Funny Quotes - Page 8
The most dangerous person is a mailman becoming a hitman, he knows where you live.
Couldn’t remember your appointment then you find out it was with your memory doctor. Here’s your sign.
I don’t have any exs I have whys? Yeah why in the hell did I date you!!!?
Life is a climb but the view is great, until you fall off!.
Cuddle a chemist and see the reaction.
In life go straight and turn right. ! ;)
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
Google: I have everything. !!
Facebook: I know everyone. !
Tweeter: I know what you guys think!!
Internet: Gosh!!!w/out me. !!you guys are nothing!!!
A baby monkey asks his father thus; father, why are we so ugly?
The father says: don’t stress my son, you should see the one reading this text.
They said the world is going to end this year…Pssh They can barely predict the weather.
When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!
Which weapon can be made from the combination of, potassium, nickel, iron?. First of all explanation; the chemical symbol of potassium is k, for nickel is ni, for iron is fe. So the weapon is knife.
Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!
Age is just a number? Yeah and weed is just a plant!!!!!
If you notice this notice you will notice that this notice is a noticeable notice.
I am making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, your one of them.
If you need advice text me
If you need a friend call me
If you need me come 2 me
But if you need money :((
The subscribe can not be reached.
Good boys and girls go to heaven, bad boys and girls go everywhere.
My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.
One thing you are sure you will do for the rest of your life: Pull the door that says push.
Going to McDonald’s for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
People often ask when I was born and I tell them I cannot remember, I was a kid at the time.
I know I am level headed cause I dribble from both sides of my mouth equally.