Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.
Why fight to live when we live to die??? YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p
My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”
If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
The first 40 years of your childhood are always the hardest.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. – Winston Churchill
When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.
The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
Wise people think all they say, Fools say all they think
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
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