Short Funny Quotes - Page 9
School is a jail, the cells are the classes, teachers are the security guard and WE ARE THE PRISONERS!
The future just ain’t what it used to be.
Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it.
Meaning of CLASS:
C => Come
L => Late
A => And
S => Start
S => Sleeping… Many of them don’t know the exact meaning.
The voices in my head aren’t real…my dog told me so.
Do it today, it might be illegal tomorrow.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going…
Old age dosen’t make you forget.
Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
- Bill Maher
When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to…But when a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two.
Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.
When God made me, he was showing off!!
You know how they say, “Don’t try this at home”?
I just go to my friend’s house and try it.
Some call it stalking I call it love.
Why do I end up liking the guy I can only think of.
I was uncool before being uncool was cool!
Get like you? naw Get like me.
I called your boyfriend g*y…and then he hit me with his purse.
When I said “I’d hit that” I meant with my car.
Go buy yourself a life on e- bay.
Few women admit their ages a few men act theirs.
I would agree with you if you were right
Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Steven Wright
Relatives are like fires, the sooner they’re out, the better.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.