Short Funny Quotes
He who laughs last doesn’t get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke
A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.
If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it’s hot.
If I can’t hear your heartbeat, you’re too far away.. <3
The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do…
I am here so what are your other two wishes?
Hating me won’t make you pretty!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Wise people think all they say,
Fools say all they think
I never fall off.
Dismount with style.
My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?”
I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later”
Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”
The girl who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a lair does.
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face!!!
Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.