Short Funny Quotes - Page 9
Life is Short – Talk Fast!
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;
I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…
Before giving a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.
Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.
I hate it when I look horrible in a group photo and the person who looks good refuses to delete it.
The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
– Jarod Kintz
If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school.
– Lisa Desrochers
It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
– Helen Rowland
No matter how many pens I buy, they always ‘mysteriously’ go missing.
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
– George Carlin
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
“THE IMPOSSIBLE…” what nobody can do until some body does…….
Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?
Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)
I will procrastinate later.
The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.
When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!
Amamda: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler today.
Amanda: He said, “There is an idiot at the end of this ruler”
Karmenia: Ohhhhh he called you an idiot??
Amanda: No I got detention for asking which end he was talking about.
Karnebua: That’s ma girl!