Short Funny Quotes - Page 9

52

The future just ain’t what it used to be.

Submitted by: Rockymtnguy
3

I am making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, your one of them.

Submitted by: kaylaa
2

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
– Franklin P. Jones

Funny Quote: You can learn many things from children....

Embed Code
165

I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…

Submitted by: louise bobte
28

Before giving a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.

Submitted by: erskmor4
20

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Submitted by: Phillip
14

Kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are.

3

I’m proud of myself I finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and the box said 2-4 years!

Submitted by: Jamie
0

I want a six month vacation…Twice a year.

0

Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.
– Charles M. Schulz

0

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

0

I hate it when I look horrible in a group photo and the person who looks good refuses to delete it.

0

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!
Dr. Seuss

0

The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
Jarod Kintz

0

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
~ Helen Rowland

0

No matter how many pens I buy, they always ‘mysteriously’ go missing.

15

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk.

Funny Quote: Things that are difficult to say when...

Embed Code
17

I will procrastinate later.

Submitted by: Chiz
85

“THE IMPOSSIBLE…” what nobody can do until some body does…….

Submitted by: ukdarkangel
12

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny
6

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman

3

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Groucho Marx

5

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
Albert Camus

12

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52
10

Interesting confusions:
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

Submitted by: red sunny

Copyright © 2006-2014 Coolnsmart.com - All rights reserved.

Like us!