Short Funny Quotes - Page 9

415

Life is Short – Talk Fast!

Submitted by: Jaime
20

Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Submitted by: Phillip
14

Once I Realized That You Can Buy Trophies, I Became Good At Everything. (;

Submitted by: Lizzy
165

I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…

Submitted by: louise bobte
28

Before giving a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.

Submitted by: erskmor4
12

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52
0

I hate it when I look horrible in a group photo and the person who looks good refuses to delete it.

0

The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
Jarod Kintz

0

If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school.
– Lisa Desrochers

0

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
– Helen Rowland

0

No matter how many pens I buy, they always ‘mysteriously’ go missing.

91

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin

Funny Quote: That’s why they call it the American...

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38

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title
85

“THE IMPOSSIBLE…” what nobody can do until some body does…….

Submitted by: ukdarkangel
1

Have you ever noticed that studying is a combination of student and dying.

Submitted by: keerthi
6

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
– Henny Youngman

11

Interesting confusions:
Can you cry under water?
Do fishes ever get thirsty?
Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

Submitted by: red sunny
10

Every person tells minimum of 4 lies per day so approx 1490 lies a year! and the most common and favorite lies are I am fine and I was very busy…:)

Submitted by: paddu
18

I will procrastinate later.

Submitted by: Chiz
21

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall.

13

If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?

Submitted by: Kenny
26

You either like me or you hate me, either way, you idiots still know my name.
I’m not random. I just have many thoughts I feel you should know.

Submitted by: katee
360

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.

Submitted by: Arjay
16

When life gives you Justin Beiber, ASK FOR THE LEMONS BACK!!!

Submitted by: Kim
5

Amamda: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler today.
Karmenia: So?
Amanda: He said, “There is an idiot at the end of this ruler”
Karmenia: Ohhhhh he called you an idiot??
Amanda: No I got detention for asking which end he was talking about.
Karnebua: That’s ma girl!

Submitted by: iluvwords...

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