Stupid Quotes & Sayings - Page 4
Mom: Billy wash your hair with this shampoo.
Billy: Mom I can’t wash my hair with this shampoo.
Billy: Because this shampoo says for dry hair, and mine are going to be wet!
I just can’t stand how everyone lately seems to be saying “I mean” before they even start their sentence. Or “I know” “You Know” “Or Whatever” “Like” “Know What I Mean”. All of the people saying these things to me sound very stupid.
How can all these people be graduating high school when they don’t even know how to speak!! College kids even talk like this!! Even doctors are now into saying the word “So” before all their sentences. There is no such thing as English anymore. Our world is falling apart.
I owe my parents a lot, especially my mom and dad.
A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot.
I am not insane… My mom got me tested.
In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.
Stupidity is a choice but some people abuse it.
Sometimes I sit and think. Sometimes I just sit.
Doctors must hate apples cos an apple a day keep the doctors’ money away.
You can be anything you want when you grow up – OK, actually, you can’t. When I was little, I wanted to be a Llama when I grew up. I still haven’t gotten there yet.
My substitute teacher said this! We were all, like, in hysterics…
If a bird falls in love with a fish, where will they build their house?
The only difference between genius and stupidity, is that genius has its limits.
– Albert Einstein
When I came to this city, I only had 10 dollars…then I lost that too.
I never lost my mind, I lost half and the other half went to look for it.
I have two daughters…both are girls!
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice.
People always say you can be who you wanna be but I can never be a giraffe.
Important NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice, eventually you’ll realize that this notice isn’t worth noticing.
Adults say if you work hard you can be any thing you want but I’m still not a whale yet!!
I’m always right…except when I’m wrong.
I told my girlfriend I needed some “alone” time and she said “Do you want me to join you”?
I never apologize, I’m sorry but that’s just the way I am.
I don’t care if you people think I am stupid…my dog begs to differ.
I’m giving you a definite maybe.
– Sam Goldwyn
I know only two tunes. One of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.
– Ulysses S. Grant
Yes, females do pursue me (if you count mosquitoes).
It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Excuse me, but do these stairs go up?
Traffic is moving at a standstill.
– Traffic Reporter
This project is so important that we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.
Winter related injuries occur more often in winter.
You can’t fix stupid, but you can punch it.