Stupid Quotes & Sayings
I never lost my mind, I lost half and the other half went to look for it.
I have two daughters…both are girls!
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice.
People always say you can be who you wanna be but I can never be a giraffe.
Important NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice, eventually you’ll realize that this notice isn’t worth noticing.
Adults say if you work hard you can be any thing you want but I’m still not a whale yet!!\
I’m always right…except when I’m wrong.
I told my girlfriend I needed some “alone” time and she said “Do you want me to join you”?
I never apologize, I’m sorry but that’s just the way I am.
I don’t care if you people think I am stupid…my dog begs to differ.
I’m giving you a definite maybe.
– Sam Goldwyn
I know only two tunes. One of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.
– Ulysses S. Grant
Yes, females do pursue me (if you count mosquitoes).
It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Excuse me, but do these stairs go up?
Traffic is moving at a standstill.
– Traffic Reporter
This project is so important that we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.
Winter related injuries occur more often in winter.
You can’t fix stupid, but you can punch it.
There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity… I like to jump rope with that line.
I’m not stupid I just don’t get the point of being smart.
If I’m going crazy, can you give me directions?
If someone is driving you crazy, what are they driving?
I am a member of NAPWDLA…National Association of People Who Don’t Like Abbreviations
Hurry up slowly in a very quick tortoise pace…thank you very much please!
I am never serious. Seriously.
Imagine a tsunami was coming?
a.) Run for cover
b.) Go surfing
c.) Run to the nearest mountain or
d.) Help your family?
You know what I’ll do?
Remember to look both ways before getting hit by a car.
When it comes to stupidity, he is a genius.
Today, I took an elevator up from the top floor to the basement.
Have you ever wondered why sheep don’t shrink when they get wet?