T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings
I’m the person your mother warned you about.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.
Never kick a man unless he’s down.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
I’m not as dumb as you look.
How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?
I wear the brains in the family.
There’s no future in time travel.
Put on your seatbelt… I wanna try something.
Beat the 5 o’clock rush - Leave work at noon.
I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant
I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
All men are idiots And I married their king.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
A day without sunshine is like night.
Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
All men are idiots And I married their king.
In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
I wear the brains in the family.
BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.
There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer
Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.
Weapons Of Mass Distraction.
This is my drinking shirt.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.
Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
Us blondes aren’t dumb.
Wasted All The Time.
Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.
Blonde and proud of it.
Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.
Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.
I’m with Stupid.
I don’t need no Educashun.
Email These Quotes To Your Friend
Light travels faster than sound thats why some people appear smart until you hear them speak…hehe
i am what willis was talking about!
Modesty honors beauty
If everyone is different Whos average, and if no one is average whose normal?
im in your boyfriends to 10
you bored me for a second \_/\_______________
aahhaa….got u staring at my tshirt!!
What happens in this shirt, stays in this shirt.
Florida: the place where old people go to die.
Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
Im not perfect but parts of me are.
Work sucks but I need the bucks.
Go fast, turn left!
If it’s too loud, you’re too old.
Hey, Im up here ^
i am really lovable; but not more than a night..
we are what we are, and what we are is the sum total of all we have experienced.
God,if there is any work around me..please remove it!!
you spend your whole life thinking your on the right track, only to find out your on the wrong train
save a horse and ride a cowboy
lets play head and tails,,,
heads i get tail,,,
tails i get head,,,
Dont blame me, I was born Awesome!
One hand cleans the other
Lets play carpenter first we’ll get hammered and then i’ll nail you….
Judge me & I’ll prove you wrong, tell me what to do & i’ll tell you off, say i am not wroth it & watch where i end up, call me a b**ch & i’ll show you one, f**k me over & i’ll do it to you twice as bad, call me crazy but you really have no idea
it’s all about…
me
me
me
get over it!
I’m not bossy… I just have better ideas.
virginity is a disease….. and i’m the Doctor!!!!
Save a mat, slam a wrestler
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I can only compensate so much for other people’s stupidity.
If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
Drive defensively, buy a tank!
Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.
Always remember… you’re unique just like everyone else.
Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already.
I don’t have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
FOR SALE: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I would put something CLEVER here… but you just wouldn’t get it!
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.
Warning! This shirt has sharp edges.
Silence is golden, but DUCTAPE is shiny.
Try to not let your mind wander, it’s much too small to be out on it’s own.
It’s kind’a hard to show that I care, b e c a u s e I d o n ’ t.
To my best recollection, I can’t remember.
7 out of 3 people are math illiterate.
I’m going off to go find myself. If I’m not back by the time I return, keep me here.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving just isn’t for you.
If I gave a cr*p, you would be the first person I’d give it to.
I know all the answers, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Let’s hope there’s intelligent life in outer space. I’m so lonely here.
There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don’t
“If you were a tear drop in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you”
“If I could be anything, I would be your tear drop…to be born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die on your lips”
Intel inside Mental outside.
who are these kids calling me dad???
I was born intellegent but education ruined me!!!
It wasn’t me………
Nobody is perfect and i am nobody.
F B I
Female Body Inspector
…and:
Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver”
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three
We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is staggering
Whoever said nothing’s impossiable never tried slamming a revolving door
My shirt has words on it
I’m not a pyromainiac, I just like to set things on fire
My dad is an ATM
GIRLS SEARCH FOR THE STRENTH INSIDE YOU……….