T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo ingles.”
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I can only compensate so much for other people’s stupidity.
If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
Drive defensively, buy a tank!
Thank you for calling tech support, you’re ignorance is my job security.
Always remember… You’re unique just like everyone else.
Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already.
I don’t have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
FOR SALE: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I would put something CLEVER here… But you just wouldn’t get it!
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.
Warning! This shirt has sharp edges.
Silence is golden, but DUCTAPE is shiny.
Try to not let your mind wander, it’s much too small to be out on it’s own.
It’s kind’a hard to show that I care, be e see a you s e I d o n ’ t.
To my best recollection, I can’t remember.
7 out of 3 people are math illiterate.
I’m going off to go find myself. If I’m not back by the time I return, keep me here.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving just isn’t for you.
If I gave a cr*p, you would be the first person I’d give it to.
I know all the answers, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Let’s hope there’s intelligent life in outer space. I’m so lonely here.
There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don’t

The more people I meet….the better I like my dog.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
Do I look like a grocery item to you…You keep checking me out.
Looking for a perfect gal??……Go buy a barbie.

I’m not a bad girl…I’m a good girl with ATTITUDE !!
It’s better to loose a Lover then to love a Loser!
If Nothing lasts forever…
Can I be your Nothing?

You can’t spell STUPID without U

If Homework is work,,,WHEN DO I GET PAID???

Who says nothing is impossible..I’ve been doing nothing for years

‘save the earth – it’s the only planet that has chocolate’
‘I’ll be nicer if you’ll be smarter’
‘I’ll be nicer if you give me chocolate’
‘My face is up here ^ ‘
‘Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt?’
‘if you are reading this shirt, then phase one of my evil plan is complete..’
‘if you can read this shirt, you are standing way too close to me’
(font is really small, so you have to step forward to read it)
‘the best thing about this shirt is that by the time you finish reading it, you realize you just wasted ten seconds of your life’

Everybody has a right to be stupid, but you’re abusing your privelege!!!

Don’t play a girl who plays better
Sometimes I like to pretend I am British
I don’t get into fights
I was raised right
I talk about people behind their backs…its called manners
The best kind of friend is the one who lets you touch them inappropriately any time they want.
Ever wonder how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I’m having a really stupid idea that might just get us killed.
If it weren’t for physics and the law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I laugh at completely inappropriate times.