Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
The fridge is a perfect example of what’s inside is what matters.
If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?
If at first you don’t succeed, see what the loser gets.
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
- Anuj Somany
My kids seem to only listen to their music and not me; so I tried singing them their chores.
The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease, sometimes it just gets replaced.
Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.
That seems more of a your problem, than my problem!
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.
If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
Common sense is not so common.
Quickest way to get on your feet… miss a car payment.
The voices in my head were arguing over who would be me today.
Department of redundancy department.
He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
- Steven Wright
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
- Steven Wright