Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

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When you have wit of your own, it’s a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.
Criss Jami

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
Douglas Adams

Witty Quote: For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after...

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It was raining cats and dogs and there were poodles in the street.

Submitted by: James Hepple

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Witty Quote: A compromise is an agreement whereby both...

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If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.

Witty Quote: If you have nothing to be grateful...

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My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!

Witty Quote: My mom has the most awesome daughter...

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Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Winston Churchill

Witty Quote: Tact is the ability to tell someone...

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There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.

Witty Quote: There are two rules in life. 1....

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Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin

Witty Quote: Three may keep a secret, if two...

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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

Witty Quote: Everywhere is within walking distance if you...

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