Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
Sam Levenson

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Sam Levenson

It’s an easy thing to commit a sin, I wonder how God expects people to fail doing an easy task.

Submitted by: Khaya

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Submitted by: Playjareyes

If you pull enough strings, you’ll end up pulling ropes.

Submitted by: John Bennett Hartnett

A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield

Witty Quote: A girl phoned me the other day...

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When you have wit of your own, it’s a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.
Criss Jami

Witty Quote: When you have wit of your own,...

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For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
Douglas Adams

Witty Quote: For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after...

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It was raining cats and dogs and there were poodles in the street.

Submitted by: James Hepple

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Witty Quote: A compromise is an agreement whereby both...

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