Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
– Rodney Dangerfield
When you have wit of your own, it’s a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.
— Criss Jami
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
– Douglas Adams
It was raining cats and dogs and there were poodles in the street.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.
My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
– Winston Churchill
There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
– Benjamin Franklin