Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Submitted by: Playjareyes

If you pull enough strings, you’ll end up pulling ropes.

Submitted by: John Bennett Hartnett

A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield

When you have wit of your own, it’s a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.
Criss Jami

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
Douglas Adams

It was raining cats and dogs and there were poodles in the street.

Submitted by: James Hepple

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.

My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Winston Churchill

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