Witty Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

111 Comments to “Witty Quotes and Sayings”

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  • 21. Doreen Deramo wrote on 4 August, 2009
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    If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

  • 22. Susanne wrote on 6 August, 2009
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    I live in my own world but it’s okay. They know me there.

  • 23. smiley35 wrote on 23 August, 2009
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    There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say “What happened?”.

  • 24. domino wrote on 4 September, 2009
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    I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.

    Don’t be so humble-you are not that great.

  • 25. Chris Childs wrote on 12 September, 2009
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    A lot of people get a monkey off their back in order to make room for an elephant.
    - John Alejandro King

  • 26. tex wrote on 15 September, 2009
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    If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

  • 27. ice cream wrote on 15 September, 2009
     Vote: Add rating97 Subtract rating41 

    Newtons Law of Romance:
    Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
    It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.

  • 28. bob wrote on 19 September, 2009
     Vote: Add rating103 Subtract rating32 

    Aerodynamically the Bumble B. shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble B. doesn’t know it so it just keeps on flying anyway.

  • 29. Steven Johal wrote on 22 September, 2009
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    It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job: it’s a depression when you lose yours.

  • 30. JPoet wrote on 22 September, 2009
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    Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.

  • 31. Shorty wrote on 27 September, 2009
     Vote: Add rating216 Subtract rating13 

    Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

  • 32. Shorty wrote on 27 September, 2009
     Vote: Add rating103 Subtract rating45 

    If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

  • 33. Shorty wrote on 27 September, 2009
     Vote: Add rating143 Subtract rating15 

    Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

  • 34. Olga wrote on 17 October, 2009
     Vote: Add rating73 Subtract rating23 

    ‘Expert’ – from the adjective *pert*, meaning ‘lively’ or ‘effective,’ and the prefix *ex-*, meaning ‘not.’ – John Alejandro King (from The Covert Comic)

  • 35. Louies wrote on 5 November, 2009
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    Cigarrette Warning: Government is dangerous to your health!

  • 36. azul wrote on 23 November, 2009
     Vote: Add rating112 Subtract rating22 

    An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

  • 37. Nicole wrote on 30 December, 2009
     Vote: Add rating184 Subtract rating23 

    Whoever uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby,” has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.

  • 38. Torie wrote on 30 January, 2010
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    You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!

  • 39. Jordan wrote on 30 January, 2010
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    The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.

  • 40. robin wrote on 4 March, 2010
     Vote: Add rating63 Subtract rating123 

    They say you should never look back, so i focused on what was in front of me. Little did i know… a car was coming…

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