Witty Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

58 Comments to “Witty Quotes and Sayings”

• 21. Doreen Deramo wrote on 4 August, 2009, 6:32

   Vote: 58   24  

  Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.
• 22. Doreen Deramo wrote on 4 August, 2009, 6:34

   Vote: 65   13  

  If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
• 23. Susanne wrote on 6 August, 2009, 23:04

   Vote: 79   17  

  I live in my own world but it’s okay. They know me there.
• 24. smiley35 wrote on 23 August, 2009, 16:23

   Vote: 93   4  

  There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen. People who watch things happen and people who say “What happened?”.
• 25. domino wrote on 4 September, 2009, 22:48

   Vote: 39   10  

  I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.

  Don’t be so humble-you are not that great.
• 26. Chris Childs wrote on 12 September, 2009, 4:50

   Vote: 21   13  

  A lot of people get a monkey off their back in order to make room for an elephant.
  - John Alejandro King
• 27. tex wrote on 15 September, 2009, 12:18

   Vote: 39   12  

  If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.
• 28. ice cream wrote on 15 September, 2009, 17:38

   Vote: 34   14  

  Newtons Law of Romance:
  Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
  It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.
• 29. bob wrote on 19 September, 2009, 1:39

   Vote: 39   13  

  Aerodynamically the Bumble B. shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble B. doesn’t know it so it just keeps on flying anyway.
• 30. Steven Johal wrote on 22 September, 2009, 5:18

   Vote: 39   59  

  It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job: it’s a depression when you lose yours.
• 31. JPoet wrote on 22 September, 2009, 13:21

   Vote: 48   26  

  Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.
• 32. Shorty wrote on 27 September, 2009, 14:56

   Vote: 63   12  

  Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
• 33. Shorty wrote on 27 September, 2009, 14:57

   Vote: 29   18  

  If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
• 34. Shorty wrote on 27 September, 2009, 14:58

   Vote: 49   7  

  Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
• 35. Olga wrote on 17 October, 2009, 1:40

   Vote: 17   10  

  ‘Expert’ – from the adjective *pert*, meaning ‘lively’ or ‘effective,’ and the prefix *ex-*, meaning ‘not.’ – John Alejandro King (from The Covert Comic)
• 36. Louies wrote on 5 November, 2009, 7:22

   Vote: 21   15  

  Cigarrette Warning: Government is dangerous to your health!
• 37. azul wrote on 23 November, 2009, 23:39

   Vote: 26   7  

  An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
• 38. Nicole wrote on 30 December, 2009, 22:19

   Vote: 50   4  

  Whoever uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby,” has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.
• 39. Torie wrote on 30 January, 2010, 15:26

   Vote: 32   3  

  You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!
• 40. Jordan wrote on 30 January, 2010, 17:43

   Vote: 9   4  

  The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.