Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say…i just watch what they do.”

Witty Quote: “As I grow older, I pay less...

Submitted by: Bertha
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You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
– Albert Einstein

Witty Quote: You do not really understand something unless...

Submitted by: Jake
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If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Witty Quote: If the grass is greener on the...

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
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129% of people exaggerate.

Witty Quote: 129% of people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Jenny A.
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You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!

Witty Quote: You’re only young once, but you can...

Submitted by: Torie
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For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Witty Quote: For every action there is an equal...

Submitted by: crazygenius
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I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.

Submitted by: Bunni

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Witty Quote: Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
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If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

Witty Quote: If at first you don’t succeed, …then...

Submitted by: tex
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Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Witty Quote: Being British is about driving a German...

Submitted by: sofie
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