Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.
Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.
Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
Having voices in your head is normal. Listening to them, common. Arguing, acceptable. However, when you lose the argument, you’re in trouble.
A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)