Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 2

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say…i just watch what they do.”

Submitted by: Bertha

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo

129% of people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Jenny A.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!

Submitted by: Torie

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Submitted by: crazygenius

I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.

Submitted by: Bunni

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo

If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

Submitted by: tex

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Submitted by: sofie
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