Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 2
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
- Steven Wright
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
- Steven Wright
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Steven Wright
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
- Groucho Marx
Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!
The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
- Abraham Lincoln
If I host a party with style, I’m I really hostile?
If two ants elope, are they antelopes?
If I keep standing outside, I’m I outstanding?
If I did not take a seat for a whole night, I’m I a one- night- stand?
An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow