Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 2

2

Politics is the second oldest profession on earth and it has a striking resemblance to the first.

Submitted by: Ray
35

If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

Submitted by: tex
3

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

41

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Submitted by: crazygenius
6

Common sense is not so common.

Submitted by: A$$tastic
5

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily
6

You can’t be late until you show up.

34

There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.

Submitted by: Willis Wilson
13

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln

Submitted by: Tool.Tech
46

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
11

The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Submitted by: Mika
8

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

40

Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.

Submitted by: JPoet
3

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Winston Churchill

Witty Quote: Tact is the ability to tell someone...

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12

There is a thin line between genius and insanity and I have erased it.

Submitted by: prixitsheel(chamba)
31

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Submitted by: Hira
11

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly
6

Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.

Submitted by: nisha
5

I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.

Submitted by: Ross Fowler
8

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
– Honoré de Balzac

3

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

50

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
47

You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Submitted by: Dawn U loverly
34

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky
11

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose

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