Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 2

33

129% of people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Jenny A.
34

If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

Submitted by: tex
41

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Submitted by: crazygenius
3

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

2

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

9

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly
6

You can’t be late until you show up.

33

There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.

Submitted by: Willis Wilson
4

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily
6

Common sense is not so common.

Submitted by: A$$tastic
8

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

46

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
11

The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Submitted by: Mika
40

Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.

Submitted by: JPoet
5

Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.

Submitted by: nisha
12

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln

Submitted by: Tool.Tech
2

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Witty Quote: A compromise is an agreement whereby both...

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49

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
12

There is a thin line between genius and insanity and I have erased it.

Submitted by: prixitsheel(chamba)
30

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Submitted by: Hira
5

I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.

Submitted by: Ross Fowler
10

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose
27

An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

Submitted by: azul
8

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
– Honoré de Balzac

47

You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Submitted by: Dawn U loverly

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