Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 2

34

If at first you don’t succeed, …then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

Submitted by: tex
0

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Witty Quote: A compromise is an agreement whereby both...

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0

If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.

Witty Quote: If you have nothing to be grateful...

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41

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Submitted by: crazygenius
31

There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.

Submitted by: Willis Wilson
3

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

2

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

9

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly
44

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
6

You can’t be late until you show up.

10

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
- Abraham Lincoln

Submitted by: Tool.Tech
9

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose
40

Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.

Submitted by: JPoet
5

Common sense is not so common.

Submitted by: A$$tastic
29

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Submitted by: Hira
11

The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Submitted by: Mika
8

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

11

There is a thin line between genius and insanity and I have erased it.

Submitted by: prixitsheel(chamba)
49

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

Submitted by: Doreen Deramo
4

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily
3

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Steven Wright

28

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky
27

An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

Submitted by: azul
47

You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Submitted by: Dawn U loverly
8

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
- Honoré de Balzac


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