Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 2
There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
Having voices in your head is normal. Listening to them, common. Arguing, acceptable. However, when you lose the argument, you’re in trouble.
We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
- Jimmy Buffett
You can’t spell families, without “lies”.
Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.
There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.
Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.
I would never jump in front of a bullet for someone..If I have time to jump they have time to move the hell out of the way.
A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)
An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.
When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.
If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.
Must Do: Make a to- do list
The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
- Abraham Lincoln