Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln

Submitted by: Tool.Tech

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Submitted by: Hira

I would never jump in front of a bullet for someone..If I have time to jump they have time to move the hell out of the way.

Submitted by: domonique

We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.

Submitted by: Mocca, William

When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”

Submitted by: Sin

If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.

Submitted by: chris cropp

An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

Submitted by: azul
Advertisements

When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.

Submitted by: Marie

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Winston Churchill

There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.

Indecision may or may not be my problem.
– Jimmy Buffett

Submitted by: Caitlin Malicki

If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?

Submitted by: Jamyang Tenzin
Advertisements

A guy wants to get his girlfriend something nice for her birthday. She says, “oh, just take me somewhere expensive.”
so he drops her off at a gas station.

Submitted by: crazygenius

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Submitted by: domino

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling?!

Submitted by: admin

Submit A Quote




Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote