Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3

11

An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.

Submitted by: Phil Sanchez
5

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow

Submitted by: chris harder
13

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.

Submitted by: chris harder
14

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna
10

I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.

Submitted by: nam
10

I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.

Submitted by: nam
5

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily
13

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And some we want to leave footprints on their face.

Submitted by: Amber
14

A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

Submitted by: Matt
10

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: maria
11

I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.

Submitted by: hoodyninja
9

If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.

Submitted by: Erik
12

There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.

Submitted by: victor
14

Why do psychics ask your name?

Submitted by: Juddy
19

45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Juddy
12

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: quulkid
11

When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.

Submitted by: Ashley Abrahams
23

It never rains on a dry day.

Submitted by: Tom
9

I’m not opinionated. I’m just always right.

Submitted by: Tom
12

So who cares if I have imaginary friends I like them better than you.

Submitted by: M.M.G
12

Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
10.

Submitted by: joseph
9

If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.

Submitted by: KJ
11

I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.

Submitted by: roger garrett
12

I really need to stop procrastinating, I’ll start next week.

Submitted by: Moe
8

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

Submitted by: KEVIN

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