Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln
We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.
I would never jump in front of a bullet for someone..If I have time to jump they have time to move the hell out of the way.
An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.
When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”
I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling?!
A guy wants to get his girlfriend something nice for her birthday. She says, “oh, just take me somewhere expensive.”
so he drops her off at a gas station.
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
– Winston Churchill
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.