Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Witty Quote: I don’t have an attitude problem, you...

Submitted by: Sneaky
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You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Witty Quote: You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Submitted by: Dawn U loverly
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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Witty Quote: Always and never are two words you...

Submitted by: Shorty
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There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.

Witty Quote: There are three kinds of people in...

Submitted by: Willis Wilson
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Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.

Witty Quote: Just when you thought the entire world...

Submitted by: JPoet
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When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing :)

Witty Quote: When you are at the end of...

Submitted by: Billie Jean
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3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!

Witty Quote: 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope,...

Submitted by: angiela
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There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.

Submitted by: Rebecca

Having voices in your head is normal. Listening to them, common. Arguing, acceptable. However, when you lose the argument, you’re in trouble.

Witty Quote: Having voices in your head is normal....

Submitted by: Adellaide
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A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Witty Quote: A beautiful night is when you hug...

Submitted by: Hira
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