Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3

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Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow

Submitted by: chris harder
11

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.

Submitted by: chris harder
9

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna
8

I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.

Submitted by: nam
9

I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.

Submitted by: nam
4

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily
9

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And some we want to leave footprints on their face.

Submitted by: Amber
8

A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

Submitted by: Matt
7

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: maria
9

I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.

Submitted by: hoodyninja
8

If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.

Submitted by: Erik
11

There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.

Submitted by: victor
12

Why do psychics ask your name?

Submitted by: Juddy
18

45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Juddy
11

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: quulkid
10

When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.

Submitted by: Ashley Abrahams
20

It never rains on a dry day.

Submitted by: Tom
8

I’m not opinionated. I’m just always right.

Submitted by: Tom
7

So who cares if I have imaginary friends I like them better than you.

Submitted by: M.M.G
11

Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
10.

Submitted by: joseph
7

If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.

Submitted by: KJ
10

I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.

Submitted by: roger garrett
9

I really need to stop procrastinating, I’ll start next week.

Submitted by: Moe
7

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

Submitted by: KEVIN
7

I would never jump in front of a bullet for someone..If I have time to jump they have time to move the hell out of the way.

Submitted by: domonique

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