Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
You can’t spell families, without “lies”.
Just when you thought the entire world has forgotten about you…a bill collector calls to remind you that they will never forget about you.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing :)
There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.
Having voices in your head is normal. Listening to them, common. Arguing, acceptable. However, when you lose the argument, you’re in trouble.
There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)