Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3

29

An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

Submitted by: azul
9

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

4

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
– W. C. Fields

40

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky
4

It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.

8

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein

31

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Submitted by: domino
10

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

16

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
7

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

13

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

6

You never learn anything by doing it right.

38

If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.

Submitted by: chris cropp
17

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev
6

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin

Witty Quote: Three may keep a secret, if two...

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25

If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?

Submitted by: Jamyang Tenzin
19

If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.

Submitted by: Dyoung shall grow
5

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow

Submitted by: chris harder
8

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
– Oliver Goldsmith

7

Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.

Submitted by: tina trotter
53

When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.

Submitted by: Marie
21

Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas

Submitted by: Guest1
7

It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
– Paul Newman

9

If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.

Submitted by: Erik
12

Quickest way to get on your feet… miss a car payment.

Submitted by: Darell Hill

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