Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3

8

I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.

Submitted by: Ross Fowler
16

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
5

Of course, it’s very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
– Joey Adams

10

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

4

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

32

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Submitted by: domino
9

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein

15

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose
6

You never learn anything by doing it right.

38

If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.

Submitted by: chris cropp
17

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev
14

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

16

Common sense is not so common.

Submitted by: A$$tastic
8

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin

Witty Quote: Three may keep a secret, if two...

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9

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

26

If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?

Submitted by: Jamyang Tenzin
21

If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.

Submitted by: Dyoung shall grow
8

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
– Oliver Goldsmith

9

If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.

Submitted by: Erik
54

When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.

Submitted by: Marie
21

Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas

Submitted by: Guest1
7

It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
– Paul Newman

9

Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.

Submitted by: tina trotter
16

The fridge is a perfect example of what’s inside is what matters.

Submitted by: Anika
17

What exactly does pedantic mean?

Submitted by: Happy spud

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