Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3
I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
– W. C. Fields
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
You never learn anything by doing it right.
Must Do: Make a to- do list
It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
– Winston Churchill
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
– Albert Einstein
It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman
If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?
If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.
There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.
Quickest way to get on your feet… miss a car payment.
When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.
Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
– Oliver Goldsmith