Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3
I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.
Must Do: Make a to- do list
Of course, it’s very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
– Joey Adams
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
– Albert Einstein
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
You never learn anything by doing it right.
If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
Common sense is not so common.
It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman
If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?
If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.
Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
– Oliver Goldsmith
If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.
When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.
Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas
It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
– Paul Newman
Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.
The fridge is a perfect example of what’s inside is what matters.
What exactly does pedantic mean?