Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3

8

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
- Honoré de Balzac

5

I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.

Submitted by: Ross Fowler
4

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
- W. C. Fields

9

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

4

It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.

4

Of course, it’s very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
- Joey Adams

14

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
9

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

7

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

Submitted by: KEVIN
31

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Submitted by: domino
4

It’s always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

11

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

7

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

4

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S Truman

38

If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.

Submitted by: chris cropp
5

You never learn anything by doing it right.

1

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
- Winston Churchill

Witty Quote: Tact is the ability to tell someone...

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48

When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.

Submitted by: Marie
1

There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.

Witty Quote: There are two rules in life. 1....

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17

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev
5

Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.

Submitted by: nisha
8

If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.

Submitted by: Dyoung shall grow
7

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
- Oliver Goldsmith

4

An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.

Submitted by: Phil Sanchez
3

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow

Submitted by: chris harder

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