Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 3

36

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Submitted by: Sneaky
9

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

29

An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

Submitted by: azul
8

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

Submitted by: KEVIN
4

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
– W. C. Fields

12

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose
5

You never learn anything by doing it right.

15

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
4

It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.

6

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Winston Churchill

Witty Quote: Tact is the ability to tell someone...

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10

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

31

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Submitted by: domino
8

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein

7

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

38

If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.

Submitted by: chris cropp
13

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

4

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow

Submitted by: chris harder
17

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev
6

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Witty Quote: A compromise is an agreement whereby both...

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24

If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches?

Submitted by: Jamyang Tenzin
17

If dreams really come true, what about nightmares.

Submitted by: Dyoung shall grow
10

There are two rules in life.
1. Never give out all of the information.

Witty Quote: There are two rules in life. 1....

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8

Quickest way to get on your feet… miss a car payment.

Submitted by: Darell Hill
53

When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.

Submitted by: Marie
8

Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.
– Oliver Goldsmith


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