Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 4
We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.
When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.
If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.
If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.
An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!
When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”
I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.
I would never jump in front of a bullet for someone..If I have time to jump they have time to move the hell out of the way.
The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
– Jimmy Buffett