Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 4

We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.

Submitted by: Mocca, William

When I get home at night I look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. It acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything I say.

Submitted by: Marie

An optimist is a person that falls off the empire state building and after 50 floor says so far so good!

Submitted by: azul

If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.

Submitted by: Thomas

If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you.

Submitted by: chris cropp

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln

Submitted by: Tool.Tech

I would never jump in front of a bullet for someone..If I have time to jump they have time to move the hell out of the way.

Submitted by: domonique

When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”

Submitted by: Sin

I refuse to have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
Don’t be so humble- you are not that great.

Submitted by: domino

Indecision may or may not be my problem.
– Jimmy Buffett

Submitted by: Caitlin Malicki
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