Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.
It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.
My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.
Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman
Save a tree, eat a beaver…
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.
Must Do: Make a to- do list
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
– Steven Wright
87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
‘Expert’ – from the adjective *pert*, meaning ‘lively’ or ‘effective,’ and the prefix *ex- *, meaning ‘not.’ – John Alejandro King (from The Covert Comic)
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
You can’t be late until you show up.
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
I can resist everything except temptation.
– Oscar Wilde
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
– Steven Wright
I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.