Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.

It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.

My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

Save a tree, eat a beaver…

Submitted by: tom

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.

Submitted by: ice cream
Advertisements

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer

‘Expert’ – from the adjective *pert*, meaning ‘lively’ or ‘effective,’ and the prefix *ex- *, meaning ‘not.’ – John Alejandro King (from The Covert Comic)

Submitted by: Olga

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev

You can’t be late until you show up.

There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.

Submitted by: Ross Fowler

Copyright © 2006-2017 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote