Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
Save the world. Destroy humans.’
I used to be apathetic. Now, I just don’t care anymore.
Your ex asking if you can still be friends after a break- up is like a kidnapper telling you to keep in touch.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.
Nothing but the future lies ahead.
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.
– Abraham Lincoln
If I host a party with style, I’m I really hostile?
If two ants elope, are they antelopes?
If I keep standing outside, I’m I outstanding?
If I did not take a seat for a whole night, I’m I a one- night- stand?
An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.