Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 4

11

The noblest of dogs is the Hot Dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Submitted by: Mika
8

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly
24

The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.

Submitted by: Ali
15

3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!

Submitted by: angiela
9

There is nothing more annoying than two people talking while you’re trying to interrupt.

Submitted by: Rebecca
11

There is a thin line between genius and insanity and I have erased it.

Submitted by: prixitsheel(chamba)
16

What exactly does pedantic mean?

Submitted by: Happy spud
54

So I’m at that place where they gun you down as death sentence. I think it was in Texas or someplace near. Well, I’m about to be killed and the officer in charge is coming up to tell the gunners to hold their fire because I am innocent. You would not believe my luck. At that exact moment, a house nearby catches fire and a woman yells out the window, “Fire!”.

Submitted by: Paul
48

The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!

Submitted by: Mel
23

When you’re working in the hive, you have but two choices. To bee, or not to bee.

Submitted by: Paul
14

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Submitted by: sofie
12

Having voices in your head is normal. Listening to them, common. Arguing, acceptable. However, when you lose the argument, you’re in trouble.

Submitted by: Adellaide
4

We have fought for our freedom, then we begin to accumulate laws to take it away from ourself.

Submitted by: Mocca, William
8

Indecision may or may not be my problem.
- Jimmy Buffett

Submitted by: Caitlin Malicki
21

Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas

Submitted by: Guest1
20

Man is the only living being who cuts trees, makes paper, and writes “SAVE TREES” on it.

Submitted by: Sujit
47

You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Submitted by: Dawn U loverly
45

Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.

Submitted by: Candice
78

East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”

Submitted by: nyogz
29

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Submitted by: Hira
22

I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.

Submitted by: Bunni
24

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer
24

When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing :)

Submitted by: Billie Jean
14

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
9

Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.

Submitted by: D

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