Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 5

47

You can’t spell families, without “lies”.

Submitted by: Dawn U loverly
46

Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.

Submitted by: Candice
87

East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”

Submitted by: nyogz
31

A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)

Submitted by: Hira
23

I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.

Submitted by: Bunni
25

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer
24

When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing :)

Submitted by: Billie Jean
15

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
10

Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.

Submitted by: D
17

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev
40

Let’s just pretend I’m the Barbie you’ll never get to play with.
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully.

Submitted by: XxkeeelyxX
34

There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.

Submitted by: Willis Wilson
17

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: Jake
63

Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!

Submitted by: LovingKing
81

I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.

Submitted by: Dahlia v.
118

My Friend doesn’t want Monday to come. I was thinking I could put the word out and see if any of the other days might do a double…Sunday, you Free?

Submitted by: Deb Henry
33

129% of people exaggerate.

Submitted by: Jenny A.
155

Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)

Submitted by: Carl K. J
66

Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!

Submitted by: darla
18

A lie will make it around the world before the truth has time to put on it’s shoes.

Submitted by: Debra Ramey
65

Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face!
You (calmly): It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.

Submitted by: UB313
162

Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?

Submitted by: rawr
134

They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…

Submitted by: robin
22

The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.

Submitted by: Jordan
26

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!

Submitted by: Torie

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