Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.

It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.

My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Submitted by: kanurelly

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

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The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

Save a tree, eat a beaver…

Submitted by: tom

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.

Submitted by: ice cream

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D
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I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright

You can’t be late until you show up.

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev

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