Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 5
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”
A beautiful night is when you hug your teddy and go to sleep, but a horror night is when your teddy hugs you back!!!! =)
I used to have superpowers… But a therapist took them away.
87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing :)
Must Do: Make a to- do list
Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Let’s just pretend I’m the Barbie you’ll never get to play with.
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully.
There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count… And those who can’t.
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
– Albert Einstein
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
My Friend doesn’t want Monday to come. I was thinking I could put the word out and see if any of the other days might do a double…Sunday, you Free?
129% of people exaggerate.
Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!
A lie will make it around the world before the truth has time to put on it’s shoes.
Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face!
You (calmly): It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…
The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!
Whoever uses the phrase “Easy as taking candy from a baby,” has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.