Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.

It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.

My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.

Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.

Submitted by: ice cream

Must Do: Make a to- do list

Submitted by: D

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Submitted by: Rose

Raisins that look like chocolate chips is the reason why I have trust issues.

Submitted by: Emily

‘Expert’ – from the adjective *pert*, meaning ‘lively’ or ‘effective,’ and the prefix *ex- *, meaning ‘not.’ – John Alejandro King (from The Covert Comic)

Submitted by: Olga

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

87.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Lyle Brewer

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

It’s recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
– Harry S Truman

You can’t be late until you show up.

My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright

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