Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 5
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
– Steven Wright
Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.
The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease, sometimes it just gets replaced.
When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”
When you’re working in the hive, you have but two choices. To bee, or not to bee.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
– Benjamin Franklin
If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
That seems more of a your problem, than my problem!
My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!
I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.
I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.
You only need a parachute if you’re skydiving twice.
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.
When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
– Anuj Somany
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.
It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.
My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
– Groucho Marx
I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.
I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.