Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 5
Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
When you’re working in the hive, you have but two choices. To bee, or not to bee.
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
My imaginary friend thinks YOU have problems…
Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.
An important rule of procrastination: do it today but remember that today will be today again tomorrow.
I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.
I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.
I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.
I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.
I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.
The voices in my head were arguing over who would be me today.
You only need a parachute if you’re skydiving twice.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
– Steven Wright
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
– Anuj Somany
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
– Winston Churchill
That seems more of a your problem, than my problem!
If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.