Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 5
If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.
The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease, sometimes it just gets replaced.
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
– Steven Wright
Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.
When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: “At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.”
If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
When you’re working in the hive, you have but two choices. To bee, or not to bee.
Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
Newtons Law of Romance:
Love can neither be created nor be destroyed,
It can only be changed from one girl friend to another.
That seems more of a your problem, than my problem!
I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.
Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.
I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.
You only need a parachute if you’re skydiving twice.
When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!
My mom has the most awesome daughter in the world!
There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein
The voices in my head were arguing over who would be me today.
I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
– Anuj Somany
I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.