Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 6
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow
If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
- Steven Wright
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling?!
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.
In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.
- cory taylor
You only need a parachute if you’re skydiving twice.
Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.
Save a tree, eat a beaver…
My kids seem to only listen to their music and not me; so I tried singing them their chores.
When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.
Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face!
You (calmly): It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.
Nothing but the future lies ahead.
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
A lot of people get a monkey off their back in order to make room for an elephant.
- John Alejandro King
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!