Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
The voices in my head were arguing over who would be me today.
I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
If at first you don’t succeed, see what the loser gets.
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
– Steven Wright
Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
I’m not opinionated. I’m just always right.
He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard.
Optimism has no inhibitions based on past experience.
Understanding the single-line quote is like comprehending the bulky book with its title only and correctly.
– Anuj Somany
I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.
A man mixed with a cat will improve the man, but deteriorate the cat.
I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein
I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
– Douglas Adams
I used to be apathetic. Now, I just don’t care anymore.
Nothing but the future lies ahead.
I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.
Note to self: Don’t forget to write that note to yourself.
I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
– Groucho Marx
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!