Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Submitted by: dev

There’s nothing to fear. Except maybe that weird guy over there.

Submitted by: joshua michael levinson

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

Whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword has obviously never met an automatic weapon.
By General Arthur MacDouglas

Submitted by: Guest1

I may never get out of this world alive but I’ll die trying.

Submitted by: Ross Fowler

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.

Submitted by: Jordan

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
Honoré de Balzac

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

Submitted by: KEVIN

Politics is the second oldest profession on earth and it has a striking resemblance to the first.

Submitted by: Ray

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein

In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.
– cory taylor

Submitted by: Seth

The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease, sometimes it just gets replaced.

Submitted by: Patrick

What exactly does pedantic mean?

Submitted by: Happy spud

Me: Over 90% of the stuff on Wikipedia is fake.
Person: Really? Were did you hear that?
Me: I read it on Wikipedia.

Submitted by: H.E.T

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