Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

Submitted by: Matt

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: maria

I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.

Submitted by: hoodyninja

If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.

Submitted by: Erik

There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.

Submitted by: victor
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Why do psychics ask your name?

Submitted by: Juddy

45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Juddy

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: quulkid

When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.

Submitted by: Ashley Abrahams

It never rains on a dry day.

Submitted by: Tom

I’m not opinionated. I’m just always right.

Submitted by: Tom
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So who cares if I have imaginary friends I like them better than you.

Submitted by: M.M.G

Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
10.

Submitted by: joseph

If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.

Submitted by: KJ

I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.

Submitted by: roger garrett

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