Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 6
Save a tree, eat a beaver…
Let’s just pretend I’m the Barbie you’ll never get to play with.
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully.
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling?!
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!
I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.
I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.
He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.
I used to be apathetic. Now, I just don’t care anymore.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!
There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.
If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
If at first you don’t succeed, see what the loser gets.
Cigarrette Warning: Government is dangerous to your health!
I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.
That seems more of a your problem, than my problem!
Department of redundancy department.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
I was once told I can do anything as long as I believe in myself.
I wanted to fly so I jumped off a building…. It didn’t work.
I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
- Michael Scott
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!