Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 6
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? Nevermind, I’ll look it up tomorrow
I lost 20 pounds but I’m sure I’ll find them at McDonald’s.
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling?!
If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries FREE OF CHARGE.
In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.
- cory taylor
When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.
Save a tree, eat a beaver…
You only need a parachute if you’re skydiving twice.
Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:
I used to get lost in the shuffle, but now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
A lot of people get a monkey off their back in order to make room for an elephant.
- John Alejandro King
Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face!
You (calmly): It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.
If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.
Nothing but the future lies ahead.
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!
I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.