Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
It was raining cats and dogs and there were poodles in the street.
He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
Department of redundancy department.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
It never rains on a dry day.
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
Save the world. Destroy humans.
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…