Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
Save the world. Destroy humans.
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
- Michael Scott
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.
It never rains on a dry day.
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)
The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!
‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…
Wisdom rules untill force goes crazy.
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.