Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7

160

Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?

Submitted by: rawr
7

I’m busier than a one legged man in a a** kicking contest.

Submitted by: Bemard
13

Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!

Submitted by: succor146
31

If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.

Submitted by: Naila Boo
17

I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.

Submitted by: IAmunknown
63

Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!

Submitted by: LovingKing
16

Save the world. Destroy humans.

Submitted by: christina
9

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
- Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna
25

Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.

Submitted by: Ali D.
109

A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!

Submitted by: Tammy
19

Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???

Submitted by: John Alejandro King
18

45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Juddy
33

Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.

19

It never rains on a dry day.

Submitted by: Tom
79

I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.

Submitted by: Dahlia v.
151

Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)

Submitted by: Carl K. J
49

The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!

Submitted by: Mel
120

‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Douglas Adams

Submitted by: Dylan
91

Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands

Submitted by: better not told
10

If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.

Submitted by: Diana Fredriksson
45

Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.

Submitted by: Candice
11

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.

Submitted by: chris harder
132

They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…

Submitted by: robin
81

Wisdom rules untill force goes crazy.

Submitted by: krinolina
27

Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.

Submitted by: IAmunknown

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