Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
Department of redundancy department.
I was once told I can do anything as long as I believe in myself.
I wanted to fly so I jumped off a building…. It didn’t work.
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
It never rains on a dry day.
Save the world. Destroy humans.
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…
Wisdom rules untill force goes crazy.