Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
It never rains on a dry day.
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)
45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Save the world. Destroy humans.
‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…
Wisdom rules untill force goes crazy.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.
So I’m at that place where they gun you down as death sentence. I think it was in Texas or someplace near. Well, I’m about to be killed and the officer in charge is coming up to tell the gunners to hold their fire because I am innocent. You would not believe my luck. At that exact moment, a house nearby catches fire and a woman yells out the window, “Fire!”.
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”
My Friend doesn’t want Monday to come. I was thinking I could put the word out and see if any of the other days might do a double…Sunday, you Free?
A man mixed with a cat will improve the man, but deteriorate the cat.