Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7

162

Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?

Submitted by: rawr
14

A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

Submitted by: Matt
12

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna
12

Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.

Submitted by: chris harder
2

It was raining cats and dogs and there were poodles in the street.

Submitted by: James Hepple
20

He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.

Submitted by: Gary
63

Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!

Submitted by: LovingKing
13

Department of redundancy department.

Submitted by: Gary
33

Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.

34

I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.

Submitted by: IAmunknown
22

It never rains on a dry day.

Submitted by: Tom
110

A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!

Submitted by: Tammy
29

Save the world. Destroy humans.

Submitted by: christina
57

If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.

Submitted by: Naila Boo
49

Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.

Submitted by: Ali D.
81

I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.

Submitted by: Dahlia v.
36

Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???

Submitted by: John Alejandro King
155

Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)

Submitted by: Carl K. J
32

If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.

Submitted by: Keith
121

‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Douglas Adams

Submitted by: Dylan
52

The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!

Submitted by: Mel
46

Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.

Submitted by: Candice
94

Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands

Submitted by: better not told
51

Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.

Submitted by: IAmunknown
134

They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…

Submitted by: robin

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