Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 7
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
My Friend doesn’t want Monday to come. I was thinking I could put the word out and see if any of the other days might do a double…Sunday, you Free?
It never rains on a dry day.
Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
I was once told I can do anything as long as I believe in myself.
I wanted to fly so I jumped off a building…. It didn’t work.
So I’m at that place where they gun you down as death sentence. I think it was in Texas or someplace near. Well, I’m about to be killed and the officer in charge is coming up to tell the gunners to hold their fire because I am innocent. You would not believe my luck. At that exact moment, a house nearby catches fire and a woman yells out the window, “Fire!”.
Save the world. Destroy humans.
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
The grass may be greener on the other side…but someone has to mow it!
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
Wisdom rules untill force goes crazy.
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…