Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Department of redundancy department.

Submitted by: Gary

Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.

Submitted by: Candice

Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands

Submitted by: better not told

Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???

Submitted by: John Alejandro King

‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Douglas Adams

Submitted by: Dylan

Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!

Submitted by: LovingKing

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna

To the guy who texted me the last day
“I love you. So what do you think?”

A reply to him.
“Yes. Of course even I love myself”.

Submitted by: Dew Dey

Whoever put the word fun in funeral?
Anthony Liccione

Submitted by: Michael P.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Submitted by: Playjareyes
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Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.

Submitted by: chris harder

A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

Submitted by: Matt

The first sign of madness is: hairs on the palms of your hands.
The second sign is: looking for them.

Submitted by: Dom

Asked the cause of my injury, I explained: “My back couldn’t bear the weight of my stupidity.”
Alan Robert Neal

I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
Sam Levenson

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Sam Levenson

It’s an easy thing to commit a sin, I wonder how God expects people to fail doing an easy task.

Submitted by: Khaya

45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Juddy

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