Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 8

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A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: maria

I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.

Submitted by: Cody

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
Steven Wright

Nothing but the future lies ahead.

Submitted by: Bud Black

I used to be apathetic. Now, I just don’t care anymore.

Submitted by: Gary

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

Note to self: Don’t forget to write that note to yourself.

Submitted by: Mark Simmons II

I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.

Submitted by: nam

There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.

Submitted by: victor

Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?

Submitted by: rawr

Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.

Submitted by: Ali D.

If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.

Submitted by: Naila Boo

Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!

Submitted by: succor146

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
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Witty Quote: For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after...

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He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.

Submitted by: Gary

I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.

Submitted by: IAmunknown

Save the world. Destroy humans.

Submitted by: christina

Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.

Submitted by: IAmunknown

I was once told I can do anything as long as I believe in myself.
I wanted to fly so I jumped off a building…. It didn’t work.

Submitted by: H.E.T

I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott

Submitted by: Brenna

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