Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 8
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein
I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
– Steven Wright
Nothing but the future lies ahead.
I used to be apathetic. Now, I just don’t care anymore.
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
– Groucho Marx
Note to self: Don’t forget to write that note to yourself.
I used to think that money was the root of all evil until I wanted to commit a robbery when I was broke.
There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.
Why do they call it common sense if it’s so rare?
Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.
If life gives you lemons. Eat carrots.
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
– Douglas Adams
He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.
I’m sorry, did that hurt? I thought that there was a gnat on your cheek.
Save the world. Destroy humans.
Person 1: That lady looks really interesting.
Person 2: She looks like her daddy.
I was once told I can do anything as long as I believe in myself.
I wanted to fly so I jumped off a building…. It didn’t work.
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott