Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor
Department of redundancy department.
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands
Come to think of it, when *isn’t* it a good idea to go limp and play dead???
‘In the begining, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and was widely considered as a bad move…”
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
– Michael Scott
To the guy who texted me the last day
“I love you. So what do you think?”
A reply to him.
“Yes. Of course even I love myself”.
Whoever put the word fun in funeral?
– Anthony Liccione
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.
The first sign of madness is: hairs on the palms of your hands.
The second sign is: looking for them.
Asked the cause of my injury, I explained: “My back couldn’t bear the weight of my stupidity.”
– Alan Robert Neal
I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
– Sam Levenson
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
– Sam Levenson
It’s an easy thing to commit a sin, I wonder how God expects people to fail doing an easy task.
45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.