Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor - Page 8
Department of redundancy department.
I don’t judge God does. I’m the one who makes your appointment.
I’m not superstitious, just stitious.
- Michael Scott
Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!
Statistics are overrated…
20% of people know that!
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, it may be because there’s more manure there!
If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.
A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!
Save the world. Destroy humans.
I can’t walk a mile in your shoes. They’re too small.
It never rains on a dry day.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing tomorrow.
If a job’s worth doing it’s worth leaving to mommy.
I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Procrastination? what does that word even mean anyways? I’ll look it up tomorrow.
Some think way too much of their own worth. Just leave them to bask in the delusion of their own reflected glory.
So I’m at that place where they gun you down as death sentence. I think it was in Texas or someplace near. Well, I’m about to be killed and the officer in charge is coming up to tell the gunners to hold their fire because I am innocent. You would not believe my luck. At that exact moment, a house nearby catches fire and a woman yells out the window, “Fire!”.
Dont love the one you love cause they may not love you in return , but love the one who loves you cause her heart is in your hands