If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
– Ann Landers
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
– Phyllis Diller
As I poured myself yet another glass of wine. After many. It occurred to me that I don’t have a drinking issue. No no. Only those who do not drink have a drinking issue.
Boss. Sorry I can’t come to work today. I woke up this morning and hurt my hand trying to get the cap off my breakfast!
An addict’s biggest flaw is in denial, till you admit your wrongdoings for everything else will be your biggest and most deadly flaw.
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.
– Frank Lloyd Wright
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
– Dave Barry
So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.
– Alexandre Dumas