Witty and Thought-Provoking Alcohol Quotes and Sayings

We’re all addicted to something that takes away the pain.

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Of course size matters, no one wants a small glass of wine.

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And then alcohol said “Put that on Facebook, it’s hilarious”. But alcohol was wrong, so very wrong.

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The only bad thing about drinking and driving is the trees defend themselves really well.

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

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If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
– Ann Landers

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The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.

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One solution to all problems “Alcohol”.

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As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.

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I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
– Jim Carrey

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Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
– Lord Byron

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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
– Phyllis Diller

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Great love affairs start with Champagne and end with tisane.
– Honore de Balzac

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As I poured myself yet another glass of wine. After many. It occurred to me that I don’t have a drinking issue. No no. Only those who do not drink have a drinking issue.

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Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
– Galileo Galilei

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Boss. Sorry I can’t come to work today. I woke up this morning and hurt my hand trying to get the cap off my breakfast!

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An addict’s biggest flaw is in denial, till you admit your wrongdoings for everything else will be your biggest and most deadly flaw.

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A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.
– Frank Lloyd Wright

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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
– Dave Barry

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So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.
– Alexandre Dumas

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I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.

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When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.

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Listen, I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.

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