We’re all addicted to something that takes away the pain.
Of course size matters, no one wants a small glass of wine.
And then alcohol said “Put that on Facebook, it’s hilarious”. But alcohol was wrong, so very wrong.
The only bad thing about drinking and driving is the trees defend themselves really well.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. – Ann Landers
The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.
One solution to all problems “Alcohol”.
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.
I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful. – Jim Carrey
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication. – Lord Byron
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. – Phyllis Diller
Great love affairs start with Champagne and end with tisane. – Honore de Balzac
As I poured myself yet another glass of wine. After many. It occurred to me that I don’t have a drinking issue. No no. Only those who do not drink have a drinking issue.
Wine is sunlight, held together by water. – Galileo Galilei
Boss. Sorry I can’t come to work today. I woke up this morning and hurt my hand trying to get the cap off my breakfast!
An addict’s biggest flaw is in denial, till you admit your wrongdoings for everything else will be your biggest and most deadly flaw.
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward. – Frank Lloyd Wright
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. – Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. – Rodney Dangerfield
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. – Dave Barry
So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts. – Alexandre Dumas
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.
Listen, I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
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