George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time, he was dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians”.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. – George Carlin
I have certain rules I live by…My first rule, I don’t believe anything the government tells me. – George Carlin
I couldn’t commit suicide if my life depended on it. – George Carlin
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. – George Carlin
Don’t just teach your children to read…Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything. – George Carlin
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. – George Carlin
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point – George Carlin
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. – George Carlin
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain. – George Carlin
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. – George Carlin
“Meow” means “woof” in cat. – George Carlin
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn’t afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. – George Carlin
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. – George Carlin
Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large. – George Carlin
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. – George Carlin
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? – George Carlin
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. – George Carlin
Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy
