American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company. – Mark Twain
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. – Mark Twain
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. – Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. – Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome. – Mark Twain
Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest. – Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. – Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. – Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. – Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. – Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience : this is the ideal life. – Mark Twain
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping. – Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. – Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce. – Mark Twain
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. – Mark Twain
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. – Mark Twain
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis- informed. – Mark Twain
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