Mark Twain Quotes - Page 5

American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.
– Mark Twain

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If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
– Mark Twain

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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty- four.
– Mark Twain

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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
– Mark Twain

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I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
– Mark Twain

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When people do no respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
– Mark Twain

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Canadian girls are so pretty it is a relief to see a plain one now and then
– Mark Twain

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I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
– Mark Twain

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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
– Mark Twain

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Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
– Mark Twain

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Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
– Mark Twain

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A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.
– Mark Twain

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An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.
– Mark Twain

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We are all alike on the inside.
– Mark Twain

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Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
– Mark Twain

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A nation is only an individual multiplied.
– Mark Twain

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When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.
– Laurie Halse Anderson

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It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
– Mark Twain

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India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
– Mark Twain

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There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
– Mark Twain

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