American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. – Mark Twain
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty- four. – Mark Twain
Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out. – Mark Twain
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. – Mark Twain
When people do no respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. – Mark Twain
Canadian girls are so pretty it is a relief to see a plain one now and then – Mark Twain
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. – Mark Twain
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation. – Mark Twain
Necessity is the mother of taking chances. – Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. – Mark Twain
A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse. – Mark Twain
An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice. – Mark Twain
We are all alike on the inside. – Mark Twain
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul. – Mark Twain
A nation is only an individual multiplied. – Mark Twain
When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time. – Laurie Halse Anderson
It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. – Mark Twain
India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. – Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others. – Mark Twain
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