American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. – Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others. – Mark Twain
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. – Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. – Mark Twain
Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible. – Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. – Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. – Mark Twain
Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. – Mark Twain
History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme. – Mark Twain
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want. – Mark Twain
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example – Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. – Mark Twain
It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech. – Mark Twain
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