American humorist, writer, teacher, television host, and journalist.
If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother. – Sam Levenson
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. – Sam Levenson
Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. – Sam Levenson
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. – Sam Levenson
Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier. – Sam Levenson
Insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids. – Sam Levenson
Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it. – Sam Levenson
You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice. – Sam Levenson
Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn’t poor. – Sam Levenson
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. – Sam Levenson
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone. – Sam Levenson
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest. – Sam Levenson
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. – Sam Levenson
The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. – Sam Levenson
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it’s at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others. – Sam Levenson
Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together. – Sam Levenson
It’s a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn’t consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors. – Sam Levenson
I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow! – Sam Levenson
Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself. – Sam Levenson
One of the virtues of being very young is that you don’t let the facts get in the way of your imagination. – Sam Levenson
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