Clever Quotes and Sayings

You know that you’ve become wise when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you’re stupid.

Submitted by: Andy Harding on February 13, 2012

Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.
– Max Amsterdam

A balanced diet means a cookie in both hands.

Submitted by: Jake on December 13, 2011

Did you sleep well?
No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright

Next time I’m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I’m going to turn around and say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here.

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Light a man a fire and he’ll be warm for the night, light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life

Submitted by: jon on February 23, 2008

When push comes to shove, I hope you’re standing next to a cliff.

Submitted by: stubsandstubby on October 21, 2012

The grass is always greener on the other side when you’re not the one mowing it.

Submitted by: some guy on September 23, 2012

A person is talented only when he has the talent to express his talent.

Submitted by: Rahul on October 6, 2011

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Why is it that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?

Submitted by: Elyod Llerret on May 5, 2011

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

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I like to spoon after I fork.
– Jarod Kintz

Technology is not complete if I can’t download money.

Submitted by: Olanrewaju john ayorinde on January 26, 2012

You can’t be late until you show up.

You do not have to prove something for it to be true. However, you do have to prove something for others to believe it to be true.

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