Clever Quotes and Sayings

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.
– Israel Zangwill

When the going gets rough, you are obviousley in the wrong place

Submitted by: DeAnna_starfish on September 30, 2007

Don’t live in the past because the future may become your past fast!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by: Ingrid Whitaker on September 2, 2008

How can you tell me to never say never when you just said never?

Submitted by: dude who do you think you are? on September 29, 2009

You do not have to prove something for it to be true. However, you do have to prove something for others to believe it true.

Submitted by: Vencen Troy Smith on February 16, 2009

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Submitted by: some1 on March 26, 2012

One day, I was approached by a man holding a glass of water.
He asked, “Is this glass half full? Or half empty?”
I took the glass from his hand and drank the water.
No more problem.

Submitted by: Sal on June 7, 2011
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I could act normal, but it would be acting and it wouldn’t be normal.

Submitted by: James on February 10, 2012

People talk so much. Yet say so little.

Submitted by: Marvin on November 19, 2011

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…Yeah but it could roll.

Submitted by: Taylor on December 31, 2009

You know that you’ve become wise when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you’re stupid.

Submitted by: Andy Harding on February 13, 2012

If all boys are the same, why are girls so picky?

Submitted by: spongebob on December 20, 2011

If the grass looks greener on the other side its time to fertilize yours.

Submitted by: Dee on May 4, 2009

Opportunity knocks but once, so be sure and leave a forwarding address.

Submitted by: Quentin D. on June 10, 2009

Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.
– Max Amsterdam

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Next time I’m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I’m going to turn around and say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here.

Did you sleep well?
No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright

How can you tell me to never say never when you just said never?

Submitted by: Lovers on August 14, 2012

I’m not clever, I just don’t know how to be stupid.

Submitted by: HS on September 3, 2009

A balanced diet means a cookie in both hands.

Submitted by: Jake on December 13, 2011

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

When push comes to shove, I hope you’re standing next to a cliff.

Submitted by: stubsandstubby on October 21, 2012

Light a man a fire and he’ll be warm for the night, light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life

Submitted by: jon on February 23, 2008

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Why is it that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?

Submitted by: Elyod Llerret on May 5, 2011

The grass is always greener on the other side when you’re not the one mowing it.

Submitted by: some guy on September 23, 2012
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A person is talented only when he has the talent to express his talent.

Submitted by: Rahul on October 6, 2011

I like to spoon after I fork.
– Jarod Kintz

Without order nothing could exist, But without chaos nothing could evolve.

Submitted by: Read me on June 23, 2011

Technology is not complete if I can’t download money.

Submitted by: Olanrewaju john ayorinde on January 26, 2012

He who falls into the water doesn’t drown, but the one who stays in it does.

Submitted by: Hassan Mehanna on June 10, 2010

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