Facebook Status Quotes

(Writes on FB) Gotta update my status (Clicks update)

Submitted by: koolkid on January 17, 2011

On Facebook there should be a relationship status that says I don’t even know what’s going on?

Submitted by: Jess on February 18, 2012

Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.

47% of all statistics are worthless.

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

Lauren lives vicariously… Through herself.

Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.


James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

Quit posting junk that no one cares about!! It’s called FILLING UP MY NEWS FEED!!!

Submitted by: pimpin beast! on May 10, 2011

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.

When you can’t sleep- have no fear! Facebook is here! …Yay?

Submitted by: Katie :) on March 27, 2012

School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They’re dead, get over it. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora.

Submitted by: kylei on April 6, 2012

If you’re going to spread lies and rumors about me on Facebook… Feel free to tag me.;)

Submitted by: Ryan Harrison on January 29, 2012

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!


Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That’ll teach ’em not to f*** with you.

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.

Submitted by: Hussein on April 8, 2012

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.

“My memory is so bad” “How bad is it” “How bad is what?”

Submitted by: Brighton Zephania on December 14, 2011

I just edited my friend list. So if you’re still able to read this then congratulations you made it through my first elimination.

Submitted by: bobby on July 25, 2011

Face your problems; don’t Facebook them.

Submitted by: Millie on February 19, 2012

They said 2- faced is a norm in society.Okay..But if you’re going to be 2- faced,make one of them pretty at least.
Please don’t be 2- faced with me, because it’s hard to decide which face to slap first…

Submitted by: Rabia on March 13, 2012

James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.

James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.

Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.

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