Facebook Status Quotes

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

Facebook is like a fridge, you check it every 5 minutes even though you know that there is nothing there.

Submitted by: Saskia on February 5, 2012

Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.

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Jonathan is applying geometry to his everyday life: no squares are allowed in my inner circle.

Submitted by: Jon Braxton on December 28, 2010

I’m cle’a[ni.ng m’y’ ke]yb36oa;rd.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

Dear Facebook would it be too much to ask for you to just shut down for one day so I could get some things of importance done? Just kidding, really don’t do that.

Submitted by: dee on September 22, 2011

STATUS UPDATE MONDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “FED EX” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE TUESDAY: While at work today I received an anonymous tip that “UPS” will be going out of business soon.
STATUS UPDATE WEDNESDAY: I just received another anonymous tip that both companies have merged. “FED UP”

Submitted by: MikeGnyC on April 9, 2010
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I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Submitted by: prince f.fisher on November 28, 2011

I know that I am beautiful, looking is enough but staring is too much.

Submitted by: FRANCIA JORDAN on February 6, 2012

I’m going on a date with my pillow!! Goodnight!!:)

Submitted by: Rache on February 10, 2012

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

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