Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

It’s better to be over the hill than to buried under it.

Submitted by: autumn streath on July 17, 2010

With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
– Father Larry Lorenzoni

Birthdays – Too young to forget them and too old to care.

Submitted by: Louise on January 18, 2012

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Every year on your birthday, be nice to your kids. The older you get the closer it comes for them to choose a nursing home.

Submitted by: Ela on February 3, 2012

You’re how old? Just be glad your age is not calculated in “Dog years”. They would have put you down by now!

Submitted by: vsmartt on July 18, 2012

Like a lot of other men my age I have been thirty for ten years now, but I’ve decided today’s the day to move up to thirty one! Come back in ten years and I’ll be turning thirty two.

Submitted by: isabella owens on July 16, 2012

Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.

Submitted by: Billy Lomas on October 16, 2011

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Mwah!

Submitted by: on September 27, 2011

There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.

Submitted by: Pokey Puppy on September 17, 2011

M. I. C. K. E. Y. U. R. O. L. D.

Submitted by: Clair Leavitt on May 12, 2013

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit…but check it for wrinkles first!

Submitted by: debi on September 9, 2011

Over the hill. Never, just on top enjoying the view.

Submitted by: Letitia on April 12, 2013

They say the older you get the more respect you get.So I just want you to know I have all the respect in the world for you!

Submitted by: on August 9, 2011

I’m not gonna make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are. Lol.

Submitted by: brad york on April 10, 2013

I can’t believe you’re 50. I mean, I can’t believe you’re only 50. I thought you were way older than that.

Submitted by: Cat on April 11, 2013

You’re not old, you’re just. Old.

Submitted by: Juju on February 5, 2013

I’m not saying you’re old. Oh wait. You are!

Submitted by: Julesa on February 5, 2013

It’s better to burn out then to fade away.

Submitted by: Ben on July 10, 2010

Celebrating your birthday is like being happy that you are closer to your grave.

Submitted by: Alexx on March 23, 2013

Happy birthday!! May you live long enough to sh*t yourself!

Submitted by: Tony on May 28, 2012

May you live forever and the last voice you hear be mine.

Submitted by: Okkie on July 11, 2011

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out”.
Jerry Seinfeld

“Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”

Submitted by: yoyoma on March 17, 2012

The older you get the bolder you get.

Submitted by: sufyanj on June 4, 2012

The secret to staying young is to eat slowly, live honestly, and lie about your age.

Submitted by: coolert han you:D on November 27, 2010

Just because you’re old does not mean you have to look that way!

Submitted by: lolgirly on February 6, 2011

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