Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings | Golfing Humor - Page 3

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon

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Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

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I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.

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You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

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I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer

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The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham

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He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.

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The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan

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Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

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The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

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Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

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To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!

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Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny

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Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray

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For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
– Dave Barry

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Golf is an easy game…It’s just hard to play.

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When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.

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The only two good balls I hit all day was when I stepped on a rake.

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An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

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His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees
His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.

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