Wife: A woman who marries a man for what he is then, tries to change him into what/how she wants him to be!
Are you a man or a mouse? I’m a man if I was a mouse the wife would be frightened of me.
A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage. – Chris Rock
My wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens – Rodney Dangerfield
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm last night. Not concentrating, I leaned over and passed her the super glue instead. She’s still not speaking to me.
Man : A snake is biting your wife. Do something. Kapil : It ain’t biting. Its that the snakes venom has come to an end and not it is getting it recharged from my wife.
I found another word for slave… Groom
I never knew I had so many vices till I got married.
Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising – Edgar Watson Howe
Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for. – Mae West
Life’s a b*tch then you marry an even bigger one.
Mom: When I married you’re father I had to put all my dreams on wait. Daughter: Really what was you’re dream. Mom: To be single and childless.
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it? – Garrison Keillor
As an observer of his marriage, I knew the price he’d pay for indulging his wife’s insanity. As a participant, he knew the price he’d pay if he didn’t. – Alan Robert Neal
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