My wife treats me like a God… She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.
Marriage is like a poker game. You start out with a pair. She shows a heart. He flashes a diamond. She gets a flush. And he ends up with a full house and a big pot!!
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. – Evelyn Hendrickson
There are two sides in a marriage, one who is always right and the other is called…..the husband.
My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – E. Joseph Cossman
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. – François de La Rochefoucauld
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. – Joey Adams
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. – Rodney Dangerfield
Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time. – Chris Rock
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Man: I wear the pants in the relationship. Woman: I’m the belt that holds the pants up!
Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. – Elbert Hubbard
I don’t like the terms “housewife” and “homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. It’s more descriptive.
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