Funny Men Quotes | Hilarious Sayings about Men - Page 4

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

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The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.

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A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem

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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
– Tim Allen

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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
– Rodney Dangerfield

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If at first you don’t succeed then you are probably a man.

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A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
– Dino Levi

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There are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: “Hold my purse.”

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If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

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Behind every successful man there’s a woman, behind every unsuccessful man there are several women.

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When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.

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They all say they’re different but really they’re all just the same – boys.

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I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap bag and dragged through mountains.

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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
– Rita Rudner

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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
– Dave Barry

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A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…

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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
– Groucho Marx

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A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.

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I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
– Will Smith

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A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
– Lana Turner

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