Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense. – Chris Rock
If a woman tells you that she is single by choice, its probably because no one has chosen her.
A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!
You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.
It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right. – Chris Rock
I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. – Tim Allen
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man? – Dame Edith Evans
Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.
Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.
For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.
Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.
A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.
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