Funny Women Quotes | Witty Sayings about Women - Page 3

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.

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No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

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You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
– Chris Rock

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If a woman tells you that she is single by choice, its probably because no one has chosen her.

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A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

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You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

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Happiness is not the only thing in the world. Which is exactly why every girl should fall in love with a man.

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It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.

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Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything. Then, there’s calm again.

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A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

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Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
– Chris Rock

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I am the boss in my house (my wife said so) and I wear the pants in the family (my wife tells me which ones to wear). And that’s final (per my wife).

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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
– Tim Allen

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When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
– Dame Edith Evans

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Who said that behind every successful man there is a woman … It’s wrong … The truth is that women fall only for successful men.

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Women are like bank accounts. No money, no interest.

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There are two excellent theories for arguing with women… Neither one works.

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For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.

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Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

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A woman who doesn’t change her mind doesn’t have one.

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