Sometimes I just want to give up, go crawl under my covers and cry myself to sleep. But I never tell anyone this because I know they won’t understand.
My biggest fear is that I will become too comfortable with the idea of being lonely for the rest of my life.
I’m lonely and you’re lovely and I just want to be with you right now even if you don’t want to be with me.
Right now, there are people all over the world who are just like you. They’re lonely. They’re missing somebody. They’re in love with someone they probably shouldn’t be in love with. They have secrets you wouldn’t believe. They wish, dream, hope, and they look out the window whenever they’re in the car or on a bus, or a train & they watch the people on the streets & wonder what they’ve been through. They wonder if there are people out there like the, They’re like you & you could tell them everything & they would understand. You’re never alone.
“I don’t know. If being in love only made people more lonely, why would everyone want it so much?
“Because of the illusion. You fall in love, it’s intoxicating, and for a little while you feel like you’ve actually become one with the other person. Merged souls and so on. You think you’ll never be lonely again. Only it doesn’t last and soon you realize you can only get so close, and you end up brutally disappointed, more alone than every, because the illusion – the hope you’d help on to all those years – has been shattered.”
When you’re awake at 4 am and you don’t miss anyone, then you know that you’ve been gone for too long and you just don’t want to.
Or that there’s no one really there to miss or think about. And you realize that you haven’t been gone…But just alone for too long.
Every time I see a couple holding hands, or just plainly sitting together I look away. It’s not that I hate seeing lovers. But because it reminds me of a question nobody can answer…”Where’s mine?”
The scariest part of life isn’t when you slip and fall. It’s not when you realize you are falling with no one to catch you. It’s when you realize you are at your most vulnerable and you are completely and utterly alone.
Do you think I like being alone? ’cause I don’t. But I don’t want to be with someone who will just stab me in the back and make me cry like everyone else. So instead I sit alone, in the corner, by myself.
I feel like a caged bird waiting to be freed. Living in a world where people are not what they seem. Not knowing not caring what to do anymore, just lonely. And all that I have is a book in my hand. Nothing else I hold so dear. Just wishing you would be near. If only for a little bit. If only for a little while. Then maybe through the thick clouds. What you might see is my smile. Hidden behind my true form. Hidden are my many scars. No one notices but if they do, they don’t say anything. Waiting for you feels like forever. But you must know that I can’t wait forever. So I live in my lonely world waiting to be saved. But it seems that no one is willing to save me. So ever night I lay in my cage weeping. How could you…but you don’t answer. How could you? And still you don’t answer. Will I ever have a happy ending?