0
I used to be a fearless angel,
With a halo and I could fly.
But you took my wings away.
So I cover my wounds and cry.
I try to take to the skies,
But my feet wont leave the ground.
Look at all of my tears.
As they glisens all around.
My life seems dim and cold.
As my arms reach out for you.
All alone in a darken corner.
With a heart so lonesome and blue.
Awake at morn, tears on my cheeks,
Screaming out your name.
I hate myself for everything.
Even though your the one to blame.
So I guess I’m a fallen angel,
With no where left to turn.
My once loving heart
In pain it starts to burn.
0
As i lay my head to sleep,
The thought of you i hold and keep,
Close in my heart, your special place,
I try and picture your small face,
You tiny fingers and tiny toes,
Your big eyes and button nose,
But all i hold are thoughts of you,
Your life was taken when you were too,
Small to notice either way,
Those butterflies, those words id say,
I love you my child and forever i will,
When i lost you the pain did kill,
It does not get easier as time goes by,
But i know you are safe now, up there in the sky,
With people that love you as much as i do,
That will tell you each day that i always will and i miss you too,
When i lost you, you were a butterfly in my tummy,
And now your apart of my soul as i am your mummy,
Il never forget you, you’ll always be a part of me,
And one day my sweet together we will be.
0
i guess now i know why it hurt,
like crystals my heart is broken,
tears flowing down my eyes,
enough said
but not enough to console me,
my friend left,
swinging above the clouds,
he’s gone to a better place,
better than where we are,
but it doesn’t feel the same,
my life is shattered,
another stream of my unending tears.
Rest in Peace buddy…..
0
why did you leave when i was a child
i needed you so
why did say that i wasn’t yours
when i knew that we where the same
why did lie when i ask where you were
cause i needed but you were a jerk
why did you play with my emotions
knowing that i would get hurt
why did you leave i don’t understand
then come back and act like it was fine
the things you did really did
hurt now ill never be you
ill be there for my son and show him how much i really care
i will only leave just for work
i will go to his games and never forget that he is the number one pick
i wont be like you cause i have learned that my dad is a jerk
you are the only one i got so forgave for all that you have done
i will never how felt to be alone with only a mom
and dad to be home
i finally understand that it wasn’t me that was hurting it was you instead
but now i know i m a better man
cause i m not like you and i hope you understand
that i still love you dad that’s not a lie but ill never forget that you had to lie.
0
What am I doing here
Dressing up as something I am not
The dress is beautiful, but I am not
I can put on pounds of makeup and
Take hours on my hair, but who am I
fooling. No one is going to care
They will all laugh and say who is she
Kidding. No one wants to be with her
She’s trying so hard to be pretty
But everyone can see thats just not meant
to be
So when will I give up and just accept the ugly girl
who is me..
0
I turn the page and try to write
but the pen won’t move
memories flood my mind
as if i were drowning
emotions rage
and shames comes through,
like a brick wall
I am surrounded
but is this real or only my imagination
Coast is clear as I take a shot
the picture is not what I want
though it is as if my heart were racing,
pounding and heavy all at once
something catches my eye although it has been months
The pen begins to move, but i begin to shake
it’s as if something is moving my arms uncontrollably
something doesn’t want me to let go of the pen
I grasp it tighter and tighter
and heavy pain fills my chest
and I start to sob saying:
“why me why me oh God?”
it all ends and i am alone in this room
with a paper and pen
thinking to myself it will be all over soon.
0
Why am I so alone?
When I hear you as a far strong melody
Life so beautiful in your presence
I feel secure in your memories
Pleasantly enjoying the moment
Fears and mere ghostly fears
Afraid of the present
Sinking close into oblivion
Halting, pausing moments
Makes me glad everything you do
I dip myself alone
Actions you do depress
Still, with love I seek
Moments next with me,
Awaiting anxious to share
Sweet moment’s sweet memories
Here and there after.
0
“I dropped on the ground…
just listening to the sounds….
Of,my heart’s last beats,
my heart last sounds,
I felt numb,with cold rain pouring down…..
just listening to the sounds….
Of,my heart’s last cries,
my heart’s last sounds,
I looked up and gazed at the dark night….
just listening to the sounds…..
Of,my heart’s last screams,
my heart’s last sounds,
I turned into a cold marble stone…..
just listening to the sounds…..
Of,my heart’s last poundings,
my heart’s last sounds…….”
0
Sons and mothers,
daughters and fathers,
apart from each other are now,
pools of blood,
sounds of cries,
tears shed for the return,
of the loved one’s now gone,
console themselves they must now,
and kiss their beloved goodbye,
for life has separated them,
never to meet,not in this life!
hands we hold up,
a prayer we must say,
for the deceased souls,
rest in peace,
and like this forever stay,
in our memories,
memories! they shall always remain,
and every once in a while,
will sting,cause pain,
but life goes on,
they would want the same,
for you to move on,
be as volatile as you can be,
live it to the best,
and know that they will,
forever be in peace.
0
My head is a place you would not understand
It’s like a faraway place or a distant land.
It’s a place where paranoia is normal
And nothing is formal.
So, you’re welcome to come inside
But nothing can prepare you for what you might find.
For every time I close my eyes
The person inside comes alive.
It screams and yells at the top of its voice
Until dreaming is no longer a choice.
It gets louder and louder
I have no power.
It’s just too strong
I can’t go on.
It tears me apart
Or what’s left of my heart.
Too many secrets to plunder
It’s pulling me under.
I run to that place inside
A place where I can hide.
But the voice is there
With me, so unaware.
Of what’s been going on
For so very long.
But now I understand
Why every time you hold my hand.
There is no feeling inside
Which is when I realise.
The person inside is being fed
Every second I’m in my head.
So talking is a waste of breath
And living is my death.
0
See,there’s this thing called hope
Yet,it doesn’t exsist.
Atleast not anymore,in this life that I live.
I set myself up,and it’s all just a fib.
I try to make it work,but it seems to persist.
Tell me you care,I bet I’ll believe you
Sick of the lying,I just wanna be through.
Through with the games,all the hurt and the crying,
A feeling like this,I’d rather be dying.
So I guess this is the end,a story without hope
I’ll just wait for tomorrow,I’ve learned how to cope.
0
When I saw you in the dark,
alone and bare.
When I saw you in the cold,
shriveling and without care.
I can’t help but wonder,
Is life really unfair?
Months ago,
you were contented and fair,
you were wealthy and scarce.
now,
you are like everyone else,
crying for god,
cry for love.
Is life really unfair?
Or is it that you made your good life disappear?
Will you loose someone if you gave them care?
Will you fall if you acknowledge the tears?
Now,
when you saw yourself alone in the dark,
alone and bare.
When you saw yourself in the dark,
shriveling and without care.
Stop blaming and think,
is it god unfair?’
Or is it that I had let myself go?
0
Is this the last time
That I shall see the trees waiving in the wind,
Or the birds singing for me.
I want to know, please give me a hint.
Is this the last time
That I shall see the snow,
Glittering in the frivolous sunlight.
Please, tell me, for I do not know.
Is this the last time
That I shall see the fresh water
Emerging from that wall of battered rocks,
There is no time, I do not want to witness this slaughter.
Is this the last time
That I shall see the dazzling sun,
Spreading her great happiness.
Tell me it’s true that all of this is not done.
I do not want to lose them,
I do not want to say good-bye,
This is my heart, this is my precious gem.
Do not tell me!
I already know
It is the end…
0
Shadows whispering my cursed name
Fear creeping from within
The only hope crushed by despair
The only light absorbed by darkness
Nauseating pain injected through words
Lies cutting invisible wounds
Invisibility knocking me down
I reach my hand out in hope
In hope you will reach out too
In hope that you will think of me
In hope you’ll put away the weapon
In hope that I can make you realize
The pain you throw at me
I hope I can make you realize
The way you stab me in the back
?
0
where can we find solitude?
is it in the tranquility of a stormy sea?
or in the serenity of a hard pouring rain?
is it in the calmness of a raging river?
or in the peace from shouting and brawling people?
where can we find solitude?
it is in the heart of a man a midst life’s adversities still has the courage to manage a smile,
even though he is slowly breaking and bleeding inside…
0
I sit in my room and cry
wondering what i could have
would have
should have done
blaming myself for what you did
i never got to tell you
and now you resent me but all those
things i said were true
and made me feel like the light shone through the darkness
and i was free
but all those feeling keep pulling me back down
think that there is
no way out and i should end it
then and there
but im still stuck i dont want to
hurt but it is so hard with all these
unspoken words i want to say it makes me want to scream and shout
ad i have nothing to live for
yet everything to live for
i want to die
but want to live
im so lost
stuck in a hard place.
0
My heart has gone so far,
and now it’s like an unlit star.
I’m upset and cry everynight,
I’ll look at the clock and see it is already midnight.
I’m so tired of not doing the sport I love, I wish I were a dove and fly high above.
I go through a lot of pain
that I lose confidence, not gain.
I don’t know who I am anymore,
I can’t explore ’cause I don’t do what I adore.
the real me is somewhere behind me,
and I can’t find it so I can’t be who I want to be.
I get so lost acting like someone I’m not,
the real me is something I forgot.
0
Walking into walls doesn’t get me far,
but it looks like a life-lasting war.
I guess my feelings don’t matter,
and all my dreams just took a big splatter.
I just want to be happy,
so the rest of my life doesn’t seem too crappy.
The energy for doing anything is running low,
why can’t someone who wanted to live take my life to borrow?
Why doesn’t anyone understand,
my life and emotions are somethings I can barely withstand.
I just want my life to be finished,
or I could just be vanished.
please oh please this is what I ever wished,
I don’t want to be somewhere where I always feel like I’m being punished.
0
She may be gone from earth
But she is for sure gone from pain
She’s in a peaceful and heavenly place now
And ya I still love her just the same
She’s flying with the one and only
And dancing with the clouds
She’s walking with my lord my god
And singing very loud
On the outside of my heart I am filled with regret
But on the inside I knew my mind was already set
It was her time
She lived a good 17 years
Great job girly you won the race
But why do I only see tears?
0
Skies Are Crying
In The Loneliness Of mine
I went and caught the teardrops of the Sky
When It stopped
There Was Only Silence
That Left Me Alone
And Alone…
Just Like The Wind Takes Away,,,,
In The Journey Called Life
People Take my Beloveds Away…
I beg You Life to Take me away
I beg You to Take everything I Have
and I beg You Not To Take Away My Beloveds
Just Like The Rain That Takes Away Things From One Place To Another
Take Me away Thinking That i am Made Of Paper
and Teardrops Of the Sky….
