Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Sarcastic Quote: Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they...

Submitted by: =)=)=)=) on November 29, 2013
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Steven Wright

Sarcastic Quote: Light travels faster than sound. This is...

Submitted by: Jinny on June 12, 2009
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I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.

Sarcastic Quote: I don’t believe in plastic surgery, But...

Submitted by: Bubbles on September 25, 2013
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Silence is golden.
duct tape is silver.

Sarcastic Quote: Silence is golden. duct tape is silver.

Submitted by: tiaa. on January 23, 2009
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I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.

Sarcastic Quote: I’d tell you to go to hell,...

Submitted by: Maximum_Ride_Beth on September 3, 2008
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People say that laughter is the best medicine…
your face must be curing the world!

Sarcastic Quote: People say that laughter is the best...

Submitted by: sarcasticness on March 9, 2009
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Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

Sarcastic Quote: Tell me… Is being stupid a profession...

Submitted by: katx. on September 19, 2013
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Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.

Sarcastic Quote: Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes...

Submitted by: Shawnelly on June 19, 2008
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You go girl! And don’t come back.

Sarcastic Quote: You go girl! And don’t come back.

Submitted by: Hanni on February 15, 2009
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Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Sarcastic Quote: Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against...

Submitted by: katsumi on July 14, 2008
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I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Sarcastic Quote: I am busy right now, can I...

Submitted by: Franzeska on January 15, 2009
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That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

Sarcastic Quote: That is the ugliest top Ive ever...

Submitted by: Robina on September 11, 2008
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Sarcastic Quote: I never forget a face, but in...

Submitted by: jia-di on November 9, 2008
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Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

Sarcastic Quote: Well my imaginary friend thinks you have...

Submitted by: hachi"s girl on December 14, 2008
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If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.

Sarcastic Quote: If you’ve never met the devil in...

Submitted by: Rhyza on January 31, 2009
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Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Sarcastic Quote: Me pretending to listen should be enough...

Submitted by: Hanni on February 15, 2009
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Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Sarcastic Quote: Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Submitted by: kate on November 26, 2013
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Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Sarcastic Quote: Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Submitted by: steph on July 29, 2008
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I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Sarcastic Quote: I’m not listening, but keep talking. I...

Submitted by: Carina Aly Ceara on January 14, 2009
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Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.

Sarcastic Quote: Police pulls over a speeding car ;...

Submitted by: levannah on November 19, 2009
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Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”

Sarcastic Quote: Boy: “You’re not my type.” Girl: “Why,...

Submitted by: Rhia on May 28, 2009
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I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

Sarcastic Quote: I’d agree with you but then we’d...

Submitted by: Anonymous on December 18, 2009
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Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.

Sarcastic Quote: Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It...

Submitted by: J smith on September 15, 2009
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You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

Sarcastic Quote: You’d be in good shape…if you ran...

Submitted by: Emily on August 19, 2009
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I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

Sarcastic Quote: I’m not crazy! The voices tell me...

Submitted by: thwhitewolff on November 25, 2008
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Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Sarcastic Quote: Tact is for people who aren’t witty...

Submitted by: PlayMisty4Me on January 13, 2009
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Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

Sarcastic Quote: Sure I’ll help you out…the same way...

Submitted by: Chantel on June 11, 2009
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You: Go to Hell!
Me: See you there.

Sarcastic Quote: You: Go to Hell! Me: See you...

Submitted by: Jen on December 8, 2008
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Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Sarcastic Quote: Teacher: We are going to play the...

Submitted by: therandomone on November 28, 2008
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If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

Sarcastic Quote: If it looks like I give a...

Submitted by: Anei on November 20, 2009
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