Oh, you deleted me on Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next… You throw a fruit loop at the back of
my head and expect it to hurt?
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.
You’re so cheap. Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!
Person 1: What do you think we should make for dinner? Person 2: Food.
You: Where Are You Going? Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
Some one comes to your house. Them: Do you have a bathroom? You: No, we just go in the back yard!
I find it funny… But I have forgotten how to laugh.. Damn!
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do. Person 2: Really? Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?” My response: You’re as straight as a circle.
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
How very observant of you there captain obvious.
How could I possibly refuse? No thank you.
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Person: Hey you! Person #2: Me? Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
You: “Are you kidding me?” Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
Person 1: Can you help me do my homework? Person 2: Sure, I can, why not. Person 1: Well?. Person 2: Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.
Me (with sincerity): Do you know what I like most about you? You: No…what? Me: Absolutely Nothing.
Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy
