That sounds so cool! It’s a shame I’m not interested…
I need you like a fish need a rain coat.
Just in case you haven’t noticed, you are ugly both mentally and physically. Other than that? You are totally fine!
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up? KID… An adult.
Inside the fitting room: Me: Hey Miss, it doesn’t fit me, do you have a larger size of this shirt? Sales Lady: Is it for you Sir? Me: No, its for the other guy on that room, I am wondering why I am fitting this one, can you get a larger size for him?
I hear voices and even they don’t like you.!
Someone asked me: Are your hair naturally red??? I replied: “No I soak my hair every night in the blood of my enemies”.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid. I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Look at my face and tell me if it looks like I care.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. – Victor Borge
Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?
Women… Did you fall there Mister… Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. – Ashleigh Brilliant
Time flies by when you’re insulting people.
Person 1 : Was my speech good? Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
You’re in shape, bearing in mind that ’round’ is a shape…
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?” Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
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