Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

My dad: “Is the only thing you can do is be an a$$?”
My reply: “No, I come with sarcasm 3. 0.”

Submitted by: DrWhatver on May 26, 2012

Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.

Submitted by: Fred 'n' George on May 16, 2012

If you had to choose a name for my dog! It would for sure be yours! For loyalty purposes.:)

Submitted by: Krupal on May 13, 2012

The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.

Submitted by: julie on April 27, 2012

You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!

Submitted by: Leah Victoria on April 25, 2012

Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.

Submitted by: Xuan on April 20, 2012

My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…

Submitted by: Bob Longfluffy on April 16, 2012

9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.

Submitted by: Patience on April 15, 2012

Life’s good, you should get one.

Submitted by: TTres on April 12, 2012

I find it funny…
But I have forgotten how to laugh..

Submitted by: Siiana on April 12, 2012

Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”

Submitted by: some-tea on April 6, 2012

You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”

Submitted by: Leah Victoria on April 5, 2012

Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.

Submitted by: Bill on April 5, 2012

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown on March 29, 2012

Be my guest and leave.
You’re not stupid; you’re just not that smart.

Submitted by: Mia on March 17, 2012

I’ll give you five seconds to find hell.
– Sweetie, I’m already there (:

Submitted by: Haylee on March 12, 2012

It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.

Submitted by: Mimia on March 10, 2012

And who told you you were intelligent?????

Submitted by: gilda on March 2, 2012

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter on February 23, 2012

Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

Submitted by: Madison on February 20, 2012

3 o’clock in the morning and your best friend calls
You: HEY!! Dude I’m awake and super hyper!!!
You: Dude, are you asleep?
Me: No stupid, I’m skydiving.

Submitted by: Shelby on February 20, 2012

Tell me about your problems again. ‘Cause I care SO much about your problems.

Submitted by: ScissorLuv on February 16, 2012

Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Submitted by: eeinjhel on February 15, 2012

I’m told that familiarity breeds contempt … Well I feel I’ve know you forever.

Submitted by: Rob on February 9, 2012

I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.

Submitted by: Jessica on February 1, 2012

You are funny, you make everyone laugh except when you joke.

Submitted by: manggin misao on January 29, 2012

You think you’re so smart?
– No, I don’t. I’m actually pretty sure.

Submitted by: funnygirl on January 24, 2012

I don’t hate you. Its just my attitude has problems with your personality.

Submitted by: Bella on January 19, 2012

People say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit… And that comes from the people who don’t understand it.

Submitted by: morras on January 4, 2012

How do you manage to get such a large foot in such a small mouth?

Submitted by: Joseph Z on January 4, 2012

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