Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
Cashier: Hi can I help you? Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.
I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.
I’m not sarcastic, I’m brutally honest =).
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said… I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
I love parents’ way of saying you have got a point “Don’t talk back at me!!”
Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?
I asked God to punish me, next day I met you.
Some say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side…I say…. Depends on where you live.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. I never repeat myself.
Person 1: Are you sleeping? Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…
Your head is just there to keep your ears apart.
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?
My Brother: Since when is silence smart? Me: Since you started talking…
Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.
Why are you late? The teacher asked… I guess its because I didn’t make it in time…replied the student
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
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