Short Funny Quotes

I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

Submitted by: D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R123

When cheese gets it’s picture taken what does it say?

Submitted by: win_ringette

If our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. What do Chinese people use? Tooth picks?

Submitted by: haylse

Push can get you almost anywere, exept through a door marked ‘pull’.

Submitted by: imo-gadget-303

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!

Submitted by: BestFriend

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

Submitted by: Kazzaaa

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Submitted by: Lexy

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
– Leo J. Burke

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

Submitted by: Saadi

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

Submitted by: Sam

When you get old and your kids ask
where all the money went, show
them the vacation videos.

Submitted by: mayur

Would a fly without wings be called a walk.

Submitted by: blazinherb420

So many men and yet so few brains.

Submitted by: Frandia

So I ran into my ex the other day…
then I put it in reverse and hit him again

Submitted by: xXxAmandaxXx

The truth hurts….. Thats why I lie =P

Submitted by: Allie

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